I Have Nothing
by Kiss Pookie
Summary: Season 3 a little after “Our House” - Sean’s with Ellie, and he‘s ready to break things off. Emma wants Sean back as she is struggling to get over Sean. Sean wants Emma back. But Amy‘s secret, could put a hold on everything.
1. How It Ends, How It Begins

**Title :** I Have Nothing

**Author : **Bri

**Couple : **Emma/Sean for the most part.

**Summary : **Season 3 a little after "Our House" - Sean's with Ellie, and he's ready to break things off. Emma wants Sean back as she is struggling to get over Sean. Sean wants Emma back. But Amy's secret, could put a hold on everything.

**Disclaimer : **I own nothing. The song title is an late-eighties song by Whitney Houston.(Y'kno from _The Bodyguard Soundtrack_?)

_Well, don't make me close one more door_

_I don't wanna hurt anymore_

_Stay in my arms if you dare_

_Or must I imagine you there_

_Don't walk away from me...I have nothing, nothing, nothing_

_If I don't have you_

**Notes : **Okay, this is one of many of my first couple of fan fictions I ever wrote. This is based in season three where Emma and Sean were broken up and I didn't like it. LMFAO. So setting is - post "Gangsta Gangsta" and post Sean/Ellie in Take On Me. Logically somewhere near "Our House". Amy never gets poisoning from drinking, she never winds up in the hospital, in fact she stopped drinking and she didn't really become too effected by her and Sean's break up. So I wrote these fan fictions, and the ones like it at least 4 to 5 years ago. So bear with me as some of the ideas are dated. I read them over lately and put them to good use by rewriting and fixing my grammar it's pretty much a smashup of all my old season three I-wish-Sean-was-with-Emma situations. On the record, I think I actually own one, but from memory I remember others. Realistically, I doubt Sean would dump Ellie the way he did on sudden terms. But it's through my eyes here, and I figured she was much much clingy and three and depended HIGHLY on Sean - or maybe I have an Emma/Sean bias. Just letting you know that Amy will be a semi-important character, as will Ellie (for most of the beginning). If you love Eman/Semma, you'll like this fan fiction. I haven't written with season three characters/or how they acted in long while awhile. I went through some character changes in Emma, after Snake's cancer Emma feels very neglected and she starts to fend for herself and comes some what isolated in the opening of this. What you could call Emma in this fan fiction - a closet drinker. It's something Degrassi also had yet to cover. FYI - Emma and Sean's screen names in this fan fiction are what their diaries were on Degrassi.tv (remember them days?)- whocares and sparklespaz - just so you are aware.

**Chapter One : How It Ends, How It Begins**

_(Sean POV)_

Ellie Nash isn't my type. I don't know what I was thinking, messing with someone as intense, fragile and as tortured as her. Last night she wakes me up at three, knocking on the door crying. She and her mother had yet another disagreement about her drinking problem that has gotten worse. I know how it is, remember my parents were heavy drinkers. Ttrust me,I relate but she doesn't need to bring me back to that. That is why I even moved to Degrassi, to get away from drinking drama, Ellie and her drama spend entirely too much time at my place. Sometimes I need my time, alone. She can't always depend on me. She wears me out. I thought having things in common was a good thing. In the time I spend alone I realize things and I have come to the realization that I'm no where near as into to her, or our relationship as she thinks or she is. I also realize, it is true that opposites attract, and it's been incredibly hard to figure out how I'm going to break things off.

You see, I have feelings, in fact I just simply tried to hide about how I feel for someone. I blew things up with Emma and I. We broke up on awful terms. When I see her in the hallway, or in class she had these looks in her eyes like she wasn't okay. I mean who would be, for people like us to be together and been through so much in the past few years? I was being selfish around the time, I just wanted to spend time with her and she had other things to attend to, like Mr. Simpson, her step-dad and his cancer, her baby brother all at once - and I was being a headache. I was stupid enough to let Jay's opinions get in the way, I was just being selfish. The girl for me is Emma. I handled the situation bad. I landed in detention and conveniently met Ellie. I was jealous about Em's new relationship, first I wanted to prove my little point, hang with Jay because for the first time I felt I related to someone cool, instead he just threw me through a self destruction warpath. Detention was detention, and of course, it was punishment for weeks, meeting Ellie was a breath of fresh air. Telling Raditch to go to hell was the icing on the cake which bought me that one way ticket. It was no secret that Emma wanted me back, at first I kinda reveled in things, and I blew it. Now she's with Chris and I'm, ready to pursue her again. I mean last time I checked she was. At first Ellie and I were good. I knew she was involved in writing, which isn't my cup of tea. But aside from that she was sweet, and she wasn't a thing like Emma. In fact, I dated a lot of people before Ellie. Amy, and a few random girls - girls who were incredibly dense and easy as one two three, and their clothes are off and on the bed. Amy had a drinking problem, and was reminiscent of my mother when she would get drunk. I'm kind of glad she broke up with me. I do wish her a lot of luck with getting sober. Anyhow, with some of the girls I dated, there was no chase, it was very cut to the chase, and non committal and for awhile I liked it. Living completely alone got boring with out parties so I started inviting Ellie over. She wore out her welcome pretty quick.

I know I do jerky things sometimes, I never mean harm. It isn't like I go out and try to hurt people, then I beat myself up inside over it. This is just something I have to do. I can't live a lie. I walked into the corridor of Degrassi, scanning the halls for Ellie. I found her at her locker. She was talking to Ashley I couldn't make out what they were saying. Ashley looked at me, and then to Ellie, before waltzing off, "Cya later El." Ellie looked really happy to see me, as always. And then she sobs and tells me about her lack of sleep and her mother, what she did last night, how she hadn't heard from her father in the war lately and how her friends never want to hang out anymore, that Marco would much rather hang out with Dylan than her.

I waved to Ashley politely. I couldn't help but feel awkward around Ashley. We had a few moments a few summers back and it's been weird ever since so we don't _really _talk. When we do it's an acknowledging nod. Ellie hugged me close, "Babe!" She drawled as I hugged back, lightly causing her to quickly back away, "Is something wrong?"

"E-eh ya." I blurted.

Ellie turned her head to the side looking down, and then up at eye level. It wasn't going to be "good" from here on out.

"What is it?"

"Ellie. . ." I trailed off with a sigh. I adjusted my backpack that was on my right arm. "I-I don't think we should see each other anymore." There. I did it. I broke up with Ellie. I just don't want to see her cry though; I know she's about to.

She was taken back. She just stared at me, "Did I do something wrong?"

"N-No. Look, we can still be. . "

"Friends?" She finished, with a question.

"Yeah."

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I'd be pretty rich."

I didn't say anything. It caused her to get even more angered. This probably made it worse. She scoffed angrily, "Just forget it." She whispered and just walked away, I didn't follow her. As she walked by I heard her sniffle, as she walked into the girl's bathroom behind where I was standing. I looked around noticing everyone was kind of in their own conversations, so they didn't see or hear anything. I guarantee that it'll get around that Ellie and I broke up by lunch, and by the end of the day it'll get around that I did it. That's just how things work in Degrassi; every body knows everybody's business.

- x -

_(Emma POV)_

I've come to realize things haven't been going well with me. It really isn't a secret or a big deal. It honestly seems like Jack is more my son or companion than any of my would-be friends and of course my second best friend is Jack, Daniel's that is. How incredibly lame does that sound? In all honesty, it's not like anybody really honestly cares. I can't keep a boyfriend, or _be _a decent friend. Chris and I broke up yesterday, and Sean the first boy I had ever loved, dated, kissed or done pretty much anything with doesn't want me anymore, I guess I totally cramped his style, Manny and I aren't friends, best friends or anything still. Not that I've been close to Liberty, but she is simply too dedicated and focused, I'm never really all there in class, in fact. It's a fact, I Emma Nelson is one imperfect individual, for the first time in my life I really don't have a single person to talk to and I'm flunking a few classes. I've gotten pretty used to it. I've been barely physically there in class. Its not like Snake can rat me out for cutting, he's on leave and has been since he found out about the big C. While he's holding on to life, I've just about given up. School, life whatever all of it is a waste of time anymore for me. I've taken up drinking on the occasion, it's not like my mom notices, she leaves early in the morning to visit Snake, or take Snake or whatever, and they are never home. I'm always home. I'm the built in, home babysitter. Every morning before school, I just pour some liquor in the water bottle and waltz into class; I have a high liquor tolerance. It's been awhile. I wouldn't dare tell anyone. I just know that it would take a lot to get me drunk. Nobody really knows I get _drunk_, I don't really do it to get "messed up" like most people my age do. It's just to help me relax. I'm afraid if I tell somebody, they wouldn't understand me. I could clean up and stop at any time; I'm completely in control of this. If anything, it's just a phase. I just choose not to stop. It in some cases makes me happy. Happiness never tasted so sweet.

I waltzed in through the halls, with my water bottle in hand, ready or not for a day at Degrassi. I probably look like death, I threw up my hair and I really have forgotten to care. I woke up a little late, threw on a black tee and black sweat pants, and busted into school. I was already almost late for homeroom. They said if I get another late, I'll have a Saturday school. Zip-ide-doodah.

I was walking so fast, with the alcohol partially to blame, I barely noticed when I ran into Amy Myers and we clashed heads. That hurt, and it was a downer on my somewhat okay morning. Amy was Sean's ex girlfriend after me, I like to call her the rebound girl. I don't have issues with her, I mean she was never particularly mean to me. "Gosh! Could you just watch where you were going?!"

She automatically touched her head backing away quickly trying to regain herself; her books were in piles at our feet. I lightly laughed to clear the mood. I knelt to the ground to help pile them, "Sorry." I lifted them as I dropped mine and gave her back her books that I helped knock out of her hands when I was in my mad rush.

"Don't worry about it; just watch what you're doing." She then regained eye contact with me, "Thanks, Emily."

"Emma." I corrected, with a friendly smirk, "and you're welcome."

"Don't you have a class with me?" Amy asked and yeah we did. We had classes all through school. I just kind of never really talked to her. We had a clash in things, everyone calls Amy white trash. Everyone figured because her older sister Mimi was the biggest tramp in the world, they think she would grow up to be just like her, everyone knows about her.

I nodded and smirked, "Yeah, I think so. I'll see you around."

"Yeah, cya." She told me and we went off in the same direction separately.

- x -

Homeroom I went to, I skipped gym and I went to third period, English. Which was cool, because I figured I'd get a class to sleep off my hangover headache, but I was wrong? Kwan introduced to us a group poetry project. I really didn't pay much attention to the details. I had to pay attention when she started naming partners, "Liberty you will be partnered with Toby, Ann will be partnered with Ted, Joe with Chrissy, Liberty with J.T., and I guess Sean isn't here? We'll partner him with Chris who is also not here" a few other people who don't matter were mentioned and unmentioned and then I was mentioned and who my partner was, "and Emma will be partnered with Amy."

Amy looked over at me, and I looked over at Amy. Why her? Everybody knows when she works on a project with you, she doesn't do any work. I mean she was cool in the hallway for someone I almost gave a shiner to by colliding in the hallway with. But Amy for school work? I don't understand. "Everyone move over to sit with your partner and I will pass out the directions."

Poetry was actually a strong point for me. I actually liked poetry. My mom still gets on my ass about this poem she found a few weeks about love being a total melodramatic hoax. It wasn't even my best work she stumbled upon. Instead, she gave me a stern look as if to say, "Don't scare me into thinking you're having sex or committing suicide." Too bad I've already tried both and I'm still okay, okay maybe not committing suicide but the sex part - yeah I've tried. My mom couldn't be more oblivious. In fact, here are the details of my first sexcapade it was with Sean no less and he left me two months after to roll with Jay's crew, it was over the summer when I was at his house. I hadn't the slightest idea what I was doing, it was awkward but at the same time I only liked it because it was with him. The stupid part was to believe Sean loved me, because I sure as hell loved him. But even love couldn't make him stay with me. He hooked up with the first big boobed girl who is so unlike me who just so happened to be Amy. But like I said before about her and her ancestral issues, I can't blame Amy. I think it's what put me in some emotional rut, and the fact I have to see him everyday bothers me. I wish he would just I don't know, disappear. It would do a hell of a lot of good considering he just increases me stress and drinking habit with his presence. Again poetry, it's relaxing, and it puts you in one with your feelings. I guess I'm still somewhat naive to that belief. Amy moved her stuff and scooted her desk with mine, "Hi."

I took a sip out of my water bottle filled with vodka. I think I'll probably pass out in the gym next period; they don't have a class, "Hey. I sure hate Monday's."

"Tell me about it." Amy sighed taking out a notebook, and a pen. I didn't think she actually possibly did work.

"So what do you want to write about?" I asked her casually.

"Uh, I don't usually write. . . Nothing really comes to mind."

"You mean to tell me you never even written an essay, not even for class?"

"I manage to pass without them so what does it matter?"

"I mean I write, notes, and I ace tests mostly but I get bored in a classroom and I have a hard time buckling down and writing a paper. I'm not perfect."

"Whoa whoa perfect? Psh. I'm not perfect and nor do I try to be."

"Oh, I know all about you."

"I let myself go a little bit. Gave myself some leeway. I say it would be for the best."

"I can't work with you, you're just too perfect."

"I'm not, trust me."

So after we got out of English, where I got no nap and no poetry I went elsewhere. I waltzed into the gym and got some much needed R&R. This sucked when someone had to cut in. Someone maybe I did want to see, but I sure didn't act like it. Despite seeing him everyday, I have this bipolar thing about me with Sean. There are days I want him back, there are days I go on wishing but then there are other days when I get bitter and I wish he was gone. "Em?" he muttered sitting next to me. I didn't budge. He took my water bottle believing that there was actually water inside and squirted it on me; I recoiled and grabbed it back making a face, "Sean! That's expensive."

"Water? Whatever Em."

"Perrier."

Sean just gave me a skeptical look, "Why are you here?"I sighed, "Relaxing." What does it look like? Please don't say moping."Lying down in the school gym isn't exactly a relaxing thing to do." he smiled his genuine smile at me. You know the one, the one that used to make me melt; in fact it still makes me melt. I saw that in the corner of my eye, "Ah, well it is to me."

I saw his dimples. "Well its just life great?" I asked a bit louder sarcastically.

"Ah I guess." Out of all people in the world to not understand a sarcastic statement, or question why the answer would not typically be Sean Cameron? He is the sarcasm king. He thinks however I don't understand. Now he's speechless and clueless. What is this world coming to?"What's been up with you?" he knelt beside her. "Everyone's been, worried.""I'm fine. I don't know why people bother to worry. You're the first person to tell me about it, honestly." I lied she wanted to tell someone how I felt. I had the perfect opportunity I chose not to use. She wanted to seem different than before, she wanted to prove to him she's changed but deep down she'll have these harbored feelings for him she can't explain or change.

But even that memory of them being happy together seemed distant. Sean looked warmly into my eyes, "I want to talk to you, help you.""What makes you think I need help?" I turned over to my side and looked at him again. He was now next to me. Sean was face to face with me now. It had been so long since it had been like that. It was one of them moments we used to have, where we would lay there on the couch, and we'd look into each others eyes. No words were needed. If I did talk, he'd just kiss me and claim I'd talk too much. His kisses were much better to me than talking. Sometimes I do kiss those carefree summer days I spent with Sean. He just seemed like he had more on his mind than he spoke of. I've learned to read people well over the time I spend a lone. I shook my head, "Hello?" I said louder.

Sean shook his head getting out of his thoughts, "I want to apologize, Em."

"For what?" I played stupid.

"For everything that happened this year."

"Uh okay? Water under the bridge." Emma finally sat up.

"What are you doing to yourself?" Sean asked curiously, "you think I don't notice?"

"Don't notice?" she questioned dumbfounded.

He lifted the water bottle again and shook it around, "Drinking, Em. Seriously? I know you. You know you're better than that."

"How do you know that? You don't know me like you used to."

"Look I haven't been the nicest person to you, but gosh I want to help. I don't want you going down a bad path."

"Help with?"

Sean shrugged. "What you need is a friend."

I felt my eyes narrow, "and just who would be my friend?"

"Me."

"What about your "crew"" I said with air quotes.

"Screw them. I was friends with you first anyway. I mean, I'd be cool with them."

"Well, I'm off to shoppe. I'll see you later, Emma." Sean told me as he walked out of the gymnasium and I continued to lie down on the cold gym floor listening to music and hugging my water bottle. Instead of an emotionless smile, I smirked.


	2. Fallen Through

**Author Notes: **Thank you for the reviews, they mean a lot. Here I go with chapter two.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Fallen Through is a song by Skye Sweetnam. I don't own AIM, (even though Degrassi is in Canada, I'm just going to assume they have AIM. Maybe Canada has CIM instead? Idk.) Oh well. I don't own instant messengers or the jist of them in anyway shape or form. Just you know THIS IS INTENTIONAL, so don't think this is a script format.

**Chapter Two : Fallen Through**

Sean Cameron was on his new laptop in which he scrapped from the school's collection. A few months ago when Emma suspected Sean and Jay's crew of stealing from the school, they actually did and Sean's parting prize was a laptop. He noticed that Emma signed on. He clicked on her profile and it read:

_Stop, stare, and watch me burn_

_Someday it'll be your turn_

_Can't fool me, I can see all the things_

_That you don't want me to see_

_You threw my heart away_

_That's the price that I paid_

_I know it's never fair, promised me_

_You'd always be there_

_But you never really cared_

/3

Sean sighed. He didn't need to be reminded that he messed up, and he knew the lyrics in her profile were devoted to him. They had a nice talk earlier in the gym. He figured he'd just try to make another effort.

**whocares: **yo

**sparklespaz: **hi.

**whocares: **uh so. . how r u?

**sparklespaz: **fine, eh tired. i might go out for a walk in a lil. u?

**whocares: **isn't it raining out?

**sparklespaz: **so what

**sparklespaz: **uhh i always walk in the rain

**whocares: **we had a good talk earlier.

**sparklespaz: **ikr?

**whocares: **do you wanna idk - hang out later?

**sparklespaz**: i usually walk by myself. Reason I was gonna walk is cuz imma meet up with amy for a school project.

**whocares: **y u workin wit amy?

**sparklespaz: **I thought you two were friends

**whocares: **faar from it

**Sparklespaz: **what happened?

**Whocares: **went our separate ways

**Sparklespaz: **o sorry to hear that

**whocares: **yeah idc anymore don't matter much to me

**sparklespaz: **nothing ever does

**whocares: **whats that supposed to mean

**sparklespaz: **what do you think it means

**whocares:** i'm askin u

**s****parklespaz: **you didn't care before when we broke up

**sparklespaz: **it just wasn't fair

**whocares: **. . ok? i thought we were gonna be cool

**sparklespaz: **maybe if you start actually caring about what you did maybe we wouldn't b like this I'm talkin bought things so it's a start

**sparklespaz: **i really wish things were back like they were

**whocares: **me2

**whocares: **I wanna hang out wit u

**sparklespaz: **prove it

**whocares: **i'll do my best

**sparklespaz: **k i'd believe it when I see it

**sparklespaz: **like I said, I'm going for a walk so bye

**sparklespaz just signed off 4:25:06 PM**

_Shit! _Sean thought running his hand through his brown hair letting out a sigh. He blew it, again.

- x -

Emma thought about Sean's out of the blue IM but at the same time she wanted to forget all about it. If there was any hope in fixing things, it looked as if it was at a screeching halt by the way it ended, even if she was the one who ended the conversation. There was a part of her who wanted to regain trust in Sean, but there was another part that harbored mistrust in his motives. She met up at Amy at the park, they went to The Dot to discuss their project, and they more or less talked about life and such. They really had no idea what to write about, but they both wanted to at least try the project. The conversation got pretty deep when Amy sighed, "I've been trying to help my friend, Laura. She's really sick lately, like she told me she feels like it's a hangover every morning. Like she even pukes, it's weird."

"Really? That's strange." Emma responded before taking a sip through her straw of something non alcoholic for a change, a coke.

"Like extremely. I hate to think of the possibility of her being pregnant like she never would think it could possibly happen to her, and she's so young. I mean she has been taking the pill. I don't want to completely rule it out as a possibility, but it's logical. She's not a fan of doctors."

"I don't think anyone likes doctors. You really can't plan for life; I for instance wasn't a planned kid."

"Really? Emma Nelson is an unplanned pregnancy?" Amy said somewhat shocked.

"Yeah, my mom and my biological father, Shane were grade eights."

"Ah. . ." Amy nodded. Amy had pictured Emma as a golden child.

"So it's possible. But, it may or may not be the reason. Just tell her don't worry yet, until she knows for sure. I'm sure it's a bug, I'm no expert. Just it doesn't go away then you should definitely have your friend see a doctor."

"You sound so sure of yourself, Nelson. You know, you're pretty cool. Sean and Alex were really wrong about you. Thanks. I can't talk to Lexxi about these kinds of things; she just looks at me like I'm crazy."

Emma laughed a little, but that whole Sean and Alex thing kind of made her feel bad. She had wondered what he said about her to Amy, she knew they were somewhat of a thing a few months ago. Little did Emma know, she was giving Amy _herself _advice. You see Amy has a secret, a big one and if all of it is indeed true - involves Sean too.


	3. Comfortably Numb

**Chapter Three : Comfortably Numb**

After Amy and Emma talked some, worked some on their poetry project and such they went their separate ways. During days like this, cold and rainy ones she goes for a run. She puts her ipod in her ears and runs, she runs like a maniac through the park. Then, she gets weak and decides to go to her secret spot. The secret spot is located in Bennet Park, in the ravine. She goes to be alone, reflect. So after she went through her run, she just hung out there, she's always done this. It was raining harder by this time, and the running had done a number on her. She thought about a lot of things when alone, she often drowned out her sorrows with drinking, she did her homework there because the silence of being at home killed her she liked the sounds of the nearby wildlife and the outdoors were good for her. Emma was happy to of found a friend or at least somebody who felt similar to how she feels sometimes, aside from the fact she often feels like she has to do a lot of the things she does because of her group of friends. Emma laid down on the soaked and muddy grass with her music blasted loud and closed her eyes.

Sean often goes to the ravine himself to think and reflect. He heard the faint sounds of music in the distance. As he stepped closer the music got louder, and suddenly he was standing over Emma's body. She was soaking wet with her ipod on. He didn't wake her he just wrapped her in his hoodie which was still semi dry and carried her out of the ravine. He couldn't stand seeing her like that, just lying there looking near lifeless. Why would she lie down in the ravine? He pondered a lot of things while looking at her sleeping peacefully in his arms.

- x -

Emma fluttered her brown eyes open and found herself in a dim house that wasn't her own. The last time she remembered her eyes opened, she was in the ravine and now she's lying in a place that looks familiar yet unfamiliar. She blinked a few times silently to get a feel for where she was. She removed her soundless earphones out of her ears, her ipod must have died, _I must have been asleep for a long time then_. She looked at the couch and instantly remembered where she was.

_She thought back to the summer. She was wearing a white wife beater and a short miniskirt and the room was hot because Sean and Tracker didn't have air conditioning. She remembered that day that Tracker wasn't home so they had the day together. So they took advantage of that fact that he wont be home. They spent that day like most days watching a movie at his house on the couch and then quickly losing interest in the movie winding up making out more than watching the movie. This day she remembered was different, different in a lot of ways. It got a lot more heated, and the weird thing was she didn't want it to stop. She felt him massage little circles on her thighs, she remembered the tingles she felt as he kissed her neck, and how is kisses just tended to intensivy as they laid down on the couch. She_ _remembered what happened next, and she was ready. It was everything she expected and more, and the best part it was with Sean. _

She then broke out of her thoughts, and looked down at the blanket she wrapped around as she wrapped it tighter around her trying to suck out all the warmth out if it. She was back in the real world when she remembered that she was still alone in the room, she just couldn't help but recollect, she had so many memories on that couch. That summer that she spent with Sean was the greatest summer of life, she never imagined that she would have been without him by fall. She heard some movement in the kitchen, sounded like he was cooking. Emma sat up now, placing her ipod on the coffee table, "Hello?"

Sean ran to Emma and sighed, "Thank-god you're okay."

Emma raised her eyebrow at him with a smirk, "I'm indestructible."

"That isn't funny, Em. I saw you lying in the ravine, alone in the ravine. You could catch something or s-something Gosh if something would've only happened to you, I wouldn't of been able to get over it. It scared me."

"Look, I was relaxing." _Now you care, but it's not like it matters._

"You're always relaxing! You have to be hiding something. I mean every time I find you you're either skipping class to get drunk, or you show up at school less-than-sober, and then lately I see you lying on floors, lying in the grass and when I do try to talk to you. . you claim everything's fine or you blow up at me. Seriously, Em everything, honestly doesn't look fine to me!"

"So? I think I'm doing well." Emma shrugged with a snicker.

"Do you want me to tell Simpson and your mom about this? Sauve? I can't take seeing you like this. I'm worried."

Emma stood up glaring at Sean ferociously, hissing, she was on the verge of tears now. "You breathe one word of that, I'll make you regret it. As far as I'm concerned you didn't see that, you didn't see me like that. You don't tell you precious friends about me, you talk about me badly. I don't want them to know. It's none of their business." Emma remembered what Amy said about Sean telling her that Sean was wrong about her. She tried hard to hold her tears back before adding, "If you want to help me, help me. Don't tell my parents anything. Leave them out of it, they have enough to worry about, then the daughter they seem to of abandoned. It's like Jack's their baby, and I'm just the girl who used to be theirs."

"Do I at least get a thank you?"

"Thank you. Are you happy?"

"Your welcome. But Emma, don't be stupid your parents care about you."

"I've done so much for them you know, I baby-sit Jack when they ask me to, I always did well in school you know I wanted them to be proud of me." Emma sighed while sinking on the leg of the couch, burring her face in her hands before looking up at Sean, "they're never even home anymore. When they are they'd rather discuss Snake, his condition and it's all so frightening. I learned to block it all out. And well Jackie is Jack, and he's got no idea."

Sean nodded helplessly.

"I wish things were like they were before. You know? I hate how things are now. I'm miserable." Emma blinked as a tear fell. Sean stepped forward and held Emma's damp, lean figure against him.

"I mean Snake's getting help, they caught it early. . "

Emma nodded holding him tighter, crying harder.

"Em, he'll make it." He whispered in her ear.

Emma pulled away from the hug and looked at Sean, and smiled lightly, "Thanks."

"No problem. I forgot to tell you, you uh dropped this when you left the other day." He said taking a small black notebook off the kitchen counter and giving it to Emma. Emma smiled big.

"My diary!" Emma hugged it tightly. Sean read it, and he really felt bad about a lot of things. It made him think about them, and himself and how he treated her. She wrote about everything she's been going through, her parents, her fallouts with friends.

"I didn't read it." Sean told her, lying.

"Good." Emma told him wiping her remaining tears with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Em, I did save you a sandwich."

Sean set the plate down at the kitchen table. Emma and Sean enjoyed their first meal together in what seemed like forever.


	4. Unveiling A Secret

**Chapter Four : Unveiling A Secret**

Sean Cameron was having an alright day. He knew it was early yet but he knew he would see Emma. That made it all the more better. After Emma and his good talk last night he knew things were going to change for them, for the better. He leaned against his locker, with his earphones on. His locker was about three down from Emma's. Sean kept impatiently looking over knowing she wasn't at school just yet but he knew she would be very soon. Sean almost never came to school early, but she used to be there early he never really was ever on time. He remembered back when she'd ask him to study and he'd have to be there before homeroom and they'd wind up studying at lunch or after school.

Amy walked the halls in massive mad dash to find Sean. She had to tell him, or at least let him know what was going on. She didn't want to tell him, but she had to. He was just as much as apart of her secret as herself. She found Sean leaning against his locker. His loud rap music was on. She pled with her eyes while sighing, "We need to talk." as she leaned with the side of her arm against the locker next to where Sean was. He had been ignoring her for the past couple of seconds. "Please."

Sean sighed, "Yeah. Uh sure." He then removed his ear phones and turned off the music.

"You remember two months ago right? We went to that drive-in and saw a movie?" He remembered that night, it was the last time him and Amy were together, and it was a date. They didn't really watch the movie; it was just another place to make out among other things. Of course he and Amy were doing among other things.

Sean looked at her funny wondering why this was of relevance now, "Look, if this is some sick way of getting me back, you said yourself that it's over."

"N-No. Sean, I gave up on trying to get you back." Amy shook her head, "there's nothing I could do about that. You just don't feel that way about me."

"That's true. So, you done?"

Amy shook her head.

"Then cut the chase, what is it?"

"I'm late." She answered shyly looking down waiting for a response.

"Late with?" Sean asked oblivious.

"My period is late Sean. I haven't gotten it. I figured I let it be, but now all the weird symptoms are happening. . . Sean, I don't know what to do."

"I know nothing about this, I'm not a girl. Why are you telling me this?"

"I took a test, Sean."

"What kind?" Sean asked.

"Sean, I'm pregnant."

"It can't be mine." Sean avoided her eyes and looked down at the hallway floor.

"I wasn't with anyone after you; remember when I tried to get you back?" She went out with a few boys, but she didn't really do anything with them. She remained calm.

He looked at her coldly, "I don't believe you, and everybody knows you are just like your sister."

"How could you say that?" Amy asked, "I'm not lying. I never lied to you."

"Just why can't you do the right thing?" Amy asked.

"And Amy, what just is the right thing?" Sean asked her.

"I don't know. Maybe something like helping out, not walking off like some type of coward! I thought you were better than that, Sean!" Amy raised her voice, "It's yours too, remember?!"

"Lower your voice, Amy." Sean stepped forward sternly. She was now in front of her. He didn't want anyone to hear what was going on, or anyone to know.

"Oh. . . I see." Amy sighed, "You don't want anyone to know do you? You don't want to be seen with me, right? Is that it?"

Sean looked at her hurt; he had no idea what to do. In all honestly, he didn't love Amy, he had never loved Amy. Amy was the girl he happened to go with after him and Emma broke up, his rebound. He had only loved once; the girl he fell the hardest for was Emma. After last night, he knew it was unmistakable that there are feelings still there. He wasn't willing to loose Emma. "Amy. . "

"Well. Got your wish." Amy stepped away into the hustle bustle of the hallway before saying, "you don't have to be apart of this at all, forget I ever talked to you. Don't tell anyone, don't ask me about it. Just leave me alone."


	5. Plans For Disaster

**Chapter Five : Plans For Disaster**

Amy was in her locker with Emma sitting beside her. They had been there for about fifteen minutes. Amy was on her tiptoes as she was putting her books away. She happened happened to look up and see her friends shirt go slightly up exposing a belly button piercing, they had been talking before Amy had been telling Emma about things and catching her up on her friend "Laura". At this time, Emma still had no clue that "Laura" is Amy, but as their she would eventually confess the truth.

"Is everything alright with her?" Emma asked as she was jotting some things in her notebook she got back from Sean. Mostly doodles while she was paying attention to Amy.

"Not really" Amy started, "see the father of her kid, wants nothing to do with her, the kid or anything. He doesn't _even _believe her." Amy sighed jamming her large history text book in the locker.

"That's terrible." Emma looked down and frowned before looking back up, "I've been meaning to ask, you something. Did it hurt to get your belly button pierced?"

Amy chuckled, "No."

"I always wanted to get it done."

"I could take you after school you know." Amy told Emma.

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely." Amy told Emma shutting her locker door.

"Not even a little?"

"Eh, maybe a pinch. About two seconds and then, it's fine. It's a little bit red and it really doesn't last long. It's worth it. Besides it looks really sexy, the finally product."

"We'll go after school."

"Perfect." Amy said as the pair began to head to their homerooms. Sean approached Emma, Amy said goodbye to Emma and she waved too. But she looked a little confused and a little sad.

Sean looked at Amy leave before he spoke to Emma, "Why are you hanging out with Amy?"

"She's a really cool girl, I was wrong about her." Emma beamed. She still has no clue what he means about her new friend but she went on from there, "I know she's your ex, and I'm not sure of the terms you guys broke on but she's nice to me."

"That girl has a lot of problems." Sean told her matter-of-factly.

"So do I and you still want to hang out with me. Besides, she and I have more in common than you think." She told him as they walked a little ways to class as they stopped next to the door. She held her books to her chest.

"I know that, but it's just different, Em." he sighed reaching their class room. Emma now faced him.

"How?"

"It's kinda complicated . . "

"Well, she and I are hanging out after school, I'm getting my belly button pierced."

"Cool, that's kind of hot." Sean said at first before asking, "don't you need to sign off on that?" He asked frowning, hoping he'd be able to ask her to hang out instead.

"What?"

"You know, parental permission."

"That all? I'll ask my mom, she'll say yes." Emma scoffed with a smile.

"Whatever you say, Em." he smirked rolling his eyes. Opening the door from him, she gave him an acknowledging thank-you as the bell rang out before they walked inside the class they had together. Sean just couldn't help but detest the idea of his potential-mother-of-"his"-new-child-and-most-recent-ex and his other-ex-who-he-has-an-epic-past-with-and-he-may potentially-want-to-be-with-in-the-very near-future hanging out together. It just was going to be a messy thing when the bomb drops and the smoke clears, not to mention it would dramatically ruin his chances with Emma. In fact he'll be lucky if Emma ever speaks to him again.


	6. Two Seconds

**Authors Note : **Okay, this was in the original story, meaning the fact that Emma and Amy went to get Em's belly button pierced. However, I never knew what the piercing felt like, or how the procedure was seriously done (it was mentioned in "Drive" back in season two though) but this is a chapter written on my personal experience. The original story, Em went to Piercing Pagoda, I know for a fact doesn't do bellybuttons. However to keep the fact their in the _mall_, we'll SAY they do a piercing for a bellybutton there. The guy told me that it would only hurt for two seconds, hence the name of the chapter. I'm eighteen so I'm allowed in US without permission this is Canada it may be younger or something. Ash/Ellie were sophomores during "Drive" Ash needed permission so I figured I write something about that. Another thing is, my friend works at a day care center and they admit young babies, not exactly newborns but under a year old but not exact infants. I assume Jack is six months old.

**Disclaimer : **I own nothing, cept the scenario of the actual piercing to some degree is how I was and Brian is my boyfriends name and yeah. No the guy that did my bellybutton give me his number, that is just for the story.

**Chapter Six : Two Seconds**

_(Emma POV)_

Well somehow Amy dragged me to do this, I kinda wish I never asked her about it. I got mom's permission when I actually stopped at home and she was taking Jackie to daycare. This is the first I've ever heard of him going to daycare. Isn't he a little too, young?; apparently, centers take them younger than I thought. So I got her signature, and her permission in a letter and I went.

So now, here I' am in the store waiting. We sat in these brown benches talking. There was a cute guy who I believe was a senior at our school at the desk, he had dark hair, he was tall, fair skin, great complexion and beautiful blue eyes and his nametag said Brian. I got a closer glimpse of him as he gave me a clipboard of a release I had to sign about the piercing. I assume he would be the one who was going to be doing the job. That just made me ten times more nervous. Amy tapped me and smirked, "Now isn't he cute?"

"God I know." I sighed as I pretended to fan myself with my clipboard once I finished when a small slip of paper was in my clip board, and slipped out from underneath and onto my lap. It said, _555-8540 _and _Brian. _"He gave me his number, how cute?"

Brian looked like he saw what I saw because I smirked at him, he smirked back as he walked back into the back room. "Hey girl!" The girl at the desk acknowledged me as I stuffed his number in my little purse, "you could pick any ring in this case to use."

I nodded as I sat up, my clipboard things were done so I handed it to her with my mom's note and I picked a ring in the case. It was a barbell and had pink jewels on it. The rest were kind of ugly and extremely plain. I was really half hoping for a dangly one. She then filled a bag with the cleaning solution and some q tips and gave them to me, as I passed them to Amy to hold as we were led into the room where they did the piercing.

I looked at Amy, "Coming in?"

She nodded, "Of course." She sat down on a stool next to where I was. The room looked much like a hospital room, the light was bright and there was a little tray with all of the things all wrapped up and new. I saw Brian putting on his gloves after he washed his hands. He turned to me, I was uncomfortable but I didn't want to wuss out either. He sat down across from me as I reclined back on the chair that looked much like a hospital bed but the way I was seated was like a chair. I looked at Amy, she said with her eyes that I don't have thing to worry about. He took an alcohol wipe and cleaned the area before in the corner of my eye I saw him pick up these things that looked like tongs and they were heading straight for my stomach, I flinched before asking, "What are you doing?!"

Brian chuckled shaking his head, "Clamps to hold the skin together so I could stick the piercing in no problem."

"Em, it'll be fine, just relax." Amy told me holding my hand.

"Seriously." Brian told me, agreeing with Amy as he quick opened up the thing where the needle was and then he clamped my skin. It hurt at first but then I started to ignore it, "it'll only hurt for two seconds."

I kept whispering two seconds, "Two seconds, two seconds" as he put the needle in and before I knew it, it was done. I just laid there for a moment, "That it?"

He nodded, "Wasn't so bad was it?"

Amy's cellphone rang she motioned that she would catch me outside. It was just me and Brian. I couldn't help but blush, "I feel so stupid for freaking out."

"It happens a lot." Brian told me, as I admired my piercing.

"So yeah, I saw you gave me your number."

"Are you going to call me?"

"Maybe." I told him with a flirty smirk.


	7. First Date

**Authors Note ; **It's been awhile, I know I shouldn't of kept you waiting. But I'm here now. I started college so I really haven't had much time to do much to my writings, but never fear I'm back and ready to add more to this. Don't think for a second that I've abandoned this story because that isn't the case. I love this story and I'm determined to write it and finish it. :

**Disclaimer ; **I own nothing.

**Chapter Seven ; First Date**

Emma Nelson brushed her hair and actually got seriously dressed up for once. Dressed in a light pink tank top that showed some midriff revealing her brand new piercing and a grey cardigan sweater some light wash jeans and curled hair, she felt pretty. For the first time things were going, all right for her. I mean she had a best friend, a cute guy spotted her at the mall, a plus that he was older, could drive and was very sweet and to add to it had asked her out on a date, she figured Sean had moved on. So she felt safe enough to be able to go for the guy, Brian. Emma's assumption is so far from the truth. She honestly felt as though she had been pining for months for someone, who doesn't see her as a girlfriend or a potential girlfriend after everything they've been through.

However the situation with her family only worsened, her parents would come home at all hours of night from the long chemo therapy sessions, and appointments, most times the hospital has become his home. He was honestly, rapidly fading away and she has been the perpetual orphan in a sense with the fact that her mother, her step dad and Jack are pretty much almost never there. Most mornings Spike would come home take a shower and return the hospital, Jack is home less and less and Emma mostly has the house to herself. So she had to keep an ear out for Brian's knock.

She heard knocking on the door she slipped on white flats and answered the door, with a smirk, it was Brian. He had pink roses, about three of them, "Hey come on in."

"Wow Emma. You look gorgeous." He stepped inside the house. He smelled heavenly as he leaned in to kiss her cheek before breaking away to say, "and these are for you." advancing the roses towards her.

"They are lovely. Thanks. Come with me to the kitchen so I could put them in some water."

"Alright." as he followed her in, he noticed the emptiness in the house she just knew it, "parents at work?"

Emma didn't want him to know the truth, she tried not to think about it, it also helped she wasn't facing him as she was looking for the vase in the cabinets, "Something like that."

She turned around and said, "I'm ready to go."

"Yeah, so I was thinking dinner and movie, or movie then dinner. What do you like?"

Emma couldn't help but remember her very own first date when he asked that. This shouldn't be happening a this moment considering she wanted to not think about Sean. She then shook her head and dismissed that thought, before answering, "How about movie, then dinner."

"Sounds good to me, let's go."

And so they walked to the movies, charming Brian just seemed to be the perfect date. She hadn't done anything clumsy either which was a definite plus, it was the most perfect date she had ever been on. Emma knew she hadn't been on many dates in the past, she was with Chris they had went to a few underage music clubs such as The Rave a few times when going out but she was never too much in the party mood and of course her dates with Sean including her first which this date had reminded her of or what she had hoped to of had. She wished they had went and saw the movie together, but she had to walk away instead.

"Emma?"

They were at dinner and she was zoned out thinking about other guys. She then looked up and shook her head, "Yeah?"

"You were zoned out. You alright?"

"Fine fine." Emma cracked a smile.

"Good. It's still kind of early. . what do you want to do after this?"

"Well, there's a free show at Bennet Park."

A smile played on Brian's lips, "That would be nice."

As they walked they got better acquainted, and Emma felt alright to really talk to him. He seemed like a good person, someone who she could trust. For the first time besides with Amy, she was able to let someone in, "You asked if my parents were at work earlier. And I said something like that. Now that I know you're not a complete jerk I could tell you the truth."

"Good, Nelson. I want to know. You're a real cool girl. Seriously."

"Why thanks, you're not so bad yourself." Emma giggled, before speaking, "They are almost never home because well - they're always in the hospital. You see, my step-dad has cancer."

"I'm really sorry. Wait, you're the girl who is related to the media teacher Simpson, right?"

Emma nodded.

"He's a great guy. Sin what happened though."

"Yeah I know, I miss him. It's pretty sad to say someone who lives in your house you already miss. But yeah it's tough on everyone especially my mom. She never leaves him alone, she needs to learn to take care of herself more."

"It's hard when a loved one is going through that. My Mimsy had cancer and she didn't make it. I live by myself, she took me in when I was little, my parents were on drugs - so when she went away I was pretty much an orphan. It was hard at first, but I managed to adjust." Brian reached into his pocket and pulled out a carton and a lighter, "want a smoke?"

"Thanks." Emma took one and took the lighter from his palm after he lit one for himself. She felt better after smoking one, she never would smoke a lot. She admitted that she's smoked on occasion but so does Amy and since they hang out quite a bit she tends to pick up after her. "So what are your after high school plans?"

"Well I'm going to try to go to Smithdale, since I know Banting is out of the question."

"You don't know that."

"I really don't have the money, even the money my Mimsy gave to me, wouldn't be enough to pay for Banting. I want to study art, it's my way of coping with things. What do you do?"

"Write mostly. I keep a diary and sometimes I drink when I'm alone and I write poetry, I walk for awhile I was spending an awful lot of time alone. I'm better now."

"Don't sell yourself short, Bry. Go for Banting anyway. I'm sure there are scholarships you could try."

"Since you so have your priorities in order, what are your plans?"

Emma shrugged, "Not sure yet, it's early."

"You don't really seem your age, you're really mature and easy to talk to."

Emma smiled, "yeah?"

"Yeah. You know what else?"

He stopped and turned to face her, "What?"

"You're beautiful, you got the most beautiful smile, and a real cute laugh."

"What's with all the compliments?"

"It's been on my mind most of the night. Figure I say it now."

Emma giggled lightly, "Yeah?"

"Of course." Advancing closer stroking her soft face, tucking a piece of curled hair behind her ear as he leaned closer for a kiss. Emma returned the kiss as they stood together in the park kissing under the stars.


	8. So Close, No Cigar

**Authors Note: **A treat for your patience a second chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Chapter Eight : So Close, but No Cigar**

Monday morning Sean found out something he didn't want to know. Emma, the girl he had been pursuing had a date this past weekend and he feared for the worst. He knew Emma had been fast friends with Amy and he had suspected that she had spilled the beans to her to make Em think low of him. Sure it was a stretch, but you couldn't be too careless, it was Emma he was talking about he loved her and he had this opportunity only for it to be nearly thwarted by this Brian fellow and his ex girlfriend who also happened to be supposedly carrying his child, Amy.

He saw Amy walk in with Emma, they separated so Amy walked into the direction of Sean who was standing at her locker. He was on a mission to get something out of Amy about the weekend. He had a scowl on his face and she just smirked, "What do you want? Want to be a daddy now?" She joked aggressively she didn't care about it. She had a good cry but she was all good and she was willing to be independent in the situation.

"I know for sure not with you." Sean snarled, "I need to talk to you."

"Just letting you know, Sean. Emma went on a date with Brian Westing, a senior."

"I already knew that and you're ruining the one chance I have with her."

"Me? I think you should be talking to Brian. She said they had a great time."

"Amy. . you and that guy."

"Look Sean, it was your idea that one night if I do remember correctly. . ."

"Shut up, Amy."

"I'm sure Emma wouldn't like to find out the truth. I know you're chance would be pretty gone in a second when she finds out."

"Is that why you're friends with her? To blackmail me, make me look bad so you can get some weird sick revenge on me for not wanting to date you, and you want to somehow trap me with this kid you apparently have? Amy you're ridiculous, Em's a nice girl, why you want to use her?"

Amy softened, it wasn't like that at all. She was then angered by that even more. "Why would you say something like that? You're the biggest jerk alive." Amy attempted to squeeze past him but he blocked her passage, "maybe because she's really cool, you made it seem like _she _was unlikable but she is the most understanding person alive. Maybe I should tell her about all the things you used to say with Jay, then how much would she like you then? How could you fuck her over like that? You're the one saying I'm using her? You are the one who should be ashamed of yourself."

"Amy, you told her. Didn't you?"

Amy shook her head and snickered spitefully, "You know what Sean? I don't have to tell her, I know I will have to eventually. I can't lie about a growing stomach and weird food cravings forever, she'll find out soon enough. But even when she does, I doubt she'd be looking to date you."

"What makes you say that? Unless you really did tell her. Why else would she date Brian?"

"I didn't tell her, Sean. I'm of my word. Maybe she did a little thing called, moving on. Maybe it's something you should try, or maybe something called taking responsibility for your actions using a co-"

"Not so loud!" He shouted mildy, "well you going to get rid of it, right?"

"You said you wanted nothing to do with it. What is your sudden interest?"

"Amy, tell me. It's half-"

"It's not half of anything of yours. It's none of your business anymore. You said yourself - and you didn't want to man up." Amy shrugged, "whatever I do is my decision." Amy finally broke free from Sean's strong stance. Sean followed her tugging on her arm.

"Amy please you don't understand."

Amy whipped around aggressively, "Leave me alone, Sean. It's done and over with. Now it's my time to deal."

"No, I need to talk to you."

Amy sighed defeated, "So now Sean needs to talk to me? Why not last week when I told you? What now?"

"I mean you were fun and all part of the group I was hangin' with you know? But Emma and I had this . . history and I was stupid to kiss it all goodbye. I realized a little after awhile I was with Ellie . . and I can't afford to loose her again and I made a mistake and I want her to still like - want to be with her. . .it just took me some time to realize a-a. . . "

"That just makes me feel a whole lot better." She rolled her eyes.

"I'm not finished." He muttered.

"Sean, I don't need to be told again that I was just. . . somebody. You need to be telling this to Emma. . and not me."

"I need to make you see. . "

"Look I see how it is. Honestly." Amy stated. "Seriously, Sean, I gotta go." Amy rolled her eyes as she finally walked away again, this time he didn't try to catch her.

"Fuck." He then kicked the locker next to him. Luckily it made no dent as he walked into the direction of Emma's homeroom.

Emma looked at Sean and smiled, "Hey, how was your weekend?"

"Good." Sean answered.

"That's good, what you do?"

"Eh a few things, Friday and Saturday Jay and me went to a junkyard then I worked on some cars with Jay, went to a car show on Sunday, fun stuff nothing too too special." Before returning to how he truly feels, to skip the small talk, he wanted to get serious. He sighed, "So I heard you went on a date."

"Yeah about that. ."

"Yeah." Emma told him, "who told you?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Sean . . I wanted to tell you . . But I figure that you're moving on."

"Moving on?" Sean asked as if it was news to him. He was far from moving on. He couldn't believe she hadn't noticed. What about the night they shared when he had brought her out of the rain? What about how he listened to her cry, read her poems.

"You act like it's news to you." Emma sighed, "S-Sean. . I spent a lot of time trying to get you back, missing you and wanting to be with you and you were busy with Amy. . And then Ellie so I figure now it's my time to move on. . . And I mean Brian happened to come at a good time."

"Em it is news to me. I-I wanted to try again."

"Sean . . " She bit her lip sadly.

"But you don't and that's okay." Sean sighed looking away.

"That's not it and you know it. I can't just sit around and wait for you, do you understand?"

"I know but you wouldn't even give me a chance?"

"I didn't say that wasn't true. Sean now you know exactly how I felt every time you pushed a girl in my face. Sucks doesn't it?"

"Em. You aren't listening. I l-love you."

"No you don't." Emma shook her head. "And I got to go."

"Wait!" Sean tried to follow but the bell was ringing for homeroom. He had let her slip from his grasp yet again.


	9. Hit the Fan

**Authors Note : **I probably put everyone in a little bit of a cliff hanger. This is another semi dramatically chapter. I could not wait to add more.

**Disclaimer : **I own nothing.

**Chapter Nine : Hit the Fan**

Amy was slumped sadly during lunch. Amy and Emma frequented a small table in the cafeteria that had two seats, they mostly talked about all kinds of things but today the topic was Sean. "I don't understand, first he acts like I'm the worst girlfriend in the world and ditches me to hang out with Jay." Emma said as she tore a pretzel and put it in her mouth, "and then he you know wants to be friends, and that's cool. He saved my ass when he saw me in the ravine when it was raining but aside form that - I thought he was tryna do the right thing."

"Sean knows nothing about the right thing. I mean you could try to point him in the right direction, but it takes a really persistent person to get him to actually do anything." Amy pointed out angrily after she took a sip of her Dr. Pepper.

Emma shrugged, "With me it was really never like that, unless he was putting himself down. But things changed after he started hanging with Jay." she really seemed to find it odd that Amy had so much to say on Sean, "I guess you and Sean were pretty acquainted."

"Yeah I guess you could say that." Amy said glumly before adding, "I mean I always felt like I was. . . I don't know - second best? Like there would always be someone in his life, I mean a girl who he found better. I guess that girl was Ellie but what I think is that girl must've been you."

"Don't be silly. If he liked me - why would he let me go? Speaking of which, today he got real upset, Ames. He's all, shocked that I was moving on and he told me he loved me. I'm so confused."

"I wouldn't believe him; I don't think he's gotten any in awhile. . . "

"Amy I don't think it's like that, but okay."

"Em, Sean probably wasn't a jerk when he was with you. But he said he loved you?"

Emma nodded, Amy smirked light heartedly and sighed, "But then he started hanging out with the crew and he changed. Who is to say I love you isn't just a way to get in your pants."

"Amy he's already got in my pants. " Emma stated calmly before looking up at Amy's gaping mouth and blank stare eyes before she shook her head and sighed, "But that is beside the point."

"Look, same here."

"I assumed so since you know him oh so well."

Amy giggled, "Anyway."

"Anyway." Emma lingered, "It's so weird because I had these hopes and these dreams for Sean and I like that he'd somehow take me back and all that but then I figured it wasn't ever going to happen. Now I just feel so stupid for quitting and not believing in it as soon as I started to try to move on because I know for a fact I'm not completely over Sean."

"Sean was your first love of course it's hard to get over something so. . . raw and real. It's like that whole first time type thing with anything really. You'll always remember your very first date, your very first school dance your first kiss those kind of things they're unavoidable because it was new. They were first, they saw you as you started as a young kid to whenever the relationship or whatever died. It's normal, it's something you shouldn't or wouldn't want to forget. It's special, and that's why you feel as though you aren't over Sean."

"I see what your saying, Ames. But gosh - a mess, I feel like a mess. I had a great date with Brian, he was absolutely perfect. Like I told you everything like dinner and movie and he brought me flowers, we went stargazing and everything."

"Why do I feel a but coming on?"

"Our date was perfect, _but _every time there was a silence or something or anything I felt wrong and I thought of Sean. It was like I was like cheating. . And cheating is wrong but it also felt right because I like Brian, and he opened up to me a-and everything. But - then this morning when he brought up the whole moving on thing I said what I said because I wanted to hurt him and make him feel bad when he apologized an-and I said it was okay but it really wasn't. Amy, I love Sean, and I dated Brian. . Because- I don't know. I feel like I'm toying with Brian and I don't want that . . . what should I do?"

"Em for the first time, I really can't help. I've never been there. Every guy I've ever been with was a wam bam thank-you ma'am kind of guy. I've never had the opportunity to have an innocent harmless loving relationship. Sean was a guy I really liked and trusted for awhile but I felt so dirty compared to him, like he was trying to be this. . Bad guy and I was already the bad girl. Like I said I always felt second best like his mind was always elsewhere. I can't tell you what to do, Em. Brian could always find a good girl but if you just leave Sean where he's at the only place he's gonna wind up is in jail."

"I always worry that's where he'd end up. I tried protecting him earlier in this school year. "

"I know. I love him too." Em sighed wrapping her food up in the paper bag. She barely picked at her cheese sandwich because she mostly ate her pretzel and drank water.

Amy sighed, saying something out of nowhere "Em I just feel so dishonest."

"What do you mean?" Emma raised an eyebrow worriedly.

"I mean you're so honest with me and I feel like I haven't told you everything about me a-and I want to because you've been such a good friend these days."

"Well thanks but you don't have to if you don't want to."

"I feel as though I need to though, Em."

"Shoot." Emma told Amy.

Amy sighed, there was a slight pause before she began and she avoided Emma's eyes for a moment, "You remember my friend Lauren?"

"The pregnant one from Lakehurst?"

"Yeah . . . well she really doesn't exist at all."

Amy just knew Emma's eyes were widening, "So you lied-"

"Let me finish." Amy started before finishing, "Lauren isn't pregnant. There's no Lauren. I just used her name to cover up the truth. It's me, Em. I was too ashamed I guess? I'm pregnant and you know why I really don't like Sean? You know in my Lauren story the father wanted nothing to do with the baby. Sean wants nothing to do with the baby. In fact he wants me to abort it or somehow get rid of it. We had an argument this morning about it."

"Let me process this. Sean's the father?"

Amy nodded.

"And you know how I feel about abortion, Ames."

"I know. I don't know, I just know I can't raise the baby on my own. . I'm what? Fifteen in two weeks and with child? I told him to use a friggin' condom and we were being drunk and stupid but I wasn't that wasted I remember telling him. . "

"I know . . Ames there's more than one option. I didn't say I _forbid _you. It's not my body or child. Do what's for you. I had a friend who had gone through a similar thing and she chose abortion. Just whatever you do make sure it's the choice you want to make."

Amy sighed.

"As for Sean. . . I don't know now."

"Em. Don't let how he's treating me influence you - I- I just know he's honest with you."

"How am I supposed to know that, Amy? He could do the same thing to me if I was ever in a boat like yours."

"I suppose your right." Amy took her book bag and her trash with Emma has the bell rang. "You are going to walk with me to Kwan's?"

"Actually cover for me, Ames. I need to make a little bit of a pit-stop." Emma told her friend looking determined as the two girls went their separate ways.

Emma took the cafeteria door towards the shoppe room. Since Sean didn't always have the money for lunch he spends the lunch hour in with Mr. Elh. So when the lunch bell for dismissal rang out he was on his way to Kwan's and Emma was on her way to him.

Emma walked up to him and he looked somewhat confused, "What is it?"

"Don't what is it me? Does the summer we spent together mean anything to you? You were also the one who said, oh how I love you today when you don't remember any of the things I told you this past summer!"

"Emma what is with you? Calm down. "Sean backed up some.

Emma stepped forward, "So the true colors really come out huh Sean?"

"Em, calm down and slow down. Please stop yelling."

"Remember Sean, if I were an abortion I wouldn't be here! My mom went to the clinic and she backed out! You're the one who is trying to tell Amy to get one. I don't care because I believe it's _her _choice.

"Emma I do love you, but-y-you said you wanted to move on - a-and I'm so confused too! How do you think I feel I found out a week ago I'm about to be a father! I'm fifteen years old!"

"Just because you're angry doesn't mean you got to take out on Amy!"

"Amy is my ex."

"She's also a human! God dam nit, what happened to you?! Where is the Sean I fell in love with?!" Emma's face was red with anger and pain, she just laid it all out on the table her eyes welled up with tears, she caught her breath after a pause or two before adding, and "Where is the Sean who last week took me out of the rain? Pregnant with Amy or not, you aren't Sean. I would've understood, you know? I mean you're you. I would've made do. Amy's my friend too. Sean I mean you've changed . . . you've really changed. You've disappointed me. Sean, I thought you changed for the better at first, like last week from months ago when we broke up I thought you and I could be friends and I thought I was falling for you all over again and this morning gave me the one shred of hope there was left of ever salvaging anything ever again for you!" Emma shouted, she didn't care who heard. She put her whole heart into everything she was telling Sean, but he needed to hear it. "You know when I was on that date with Brian; I couldn't keep my mind off of you? I couldn't even enjoy myself! I tried to not think about you, but all I did was think about not thinking about you. It's why I said that I need to move on."

"Emma please. . . " Sean plead as he was hearing things but speaking rapidly too soon, "I do love you. Amy isn't you so what does it matter. I love you, I've always loved you! I loved you ever since you asked me to dance at that stupid Starlight Starbright dance and I suffered through that year when we stopped talking when my anger got the best of me! You were the greatest girl in the world to me; I made a mistake this year when I ditched you! I was hoping we could've taken it slow start off as friends. Please hear me out, you truly, truly are everything to me. Sean stepped closer to Emma at this time sighed shaking his head trying to avoid tears, he had never in his life seen Emma so hurt, and so strong, "you've stood up for me and you've made me a better person - you really have! You gotta believe me and us. You just gotta believe in us. I know you want to, but you're just so persistent in your own belief. Emma I love you. I'll do something, I'll fix this I promise."

"Amy wants nothing to do with you either. It's too late to help that little thing you've blundered. No Sean. I-" Emma began to cry cupping her face in her hands and wiping any remaining tears away, "Goodbye."

Emma stepped backward, "Don't follow me. Goodbye." before turning around and walking away. Sean leaned against the nearest locker and sighed. A tear slid down Sean's cheek as he hit the locker with his back.


	10. Manic Monday

**Chapter Ten : Manic Monday**

Sean and Jay were sitting outside Jay's car after school let out.

"Sean, lets go to somewhere tonight. Maybe one of my friends would get us some drinks."

"Nah, Jay not tonight." Sean sighed shaking his head. He really was in no mood to party. Lately he's been kind of focused on being with Emma, she flipped out big time today and it was all his fault.

"And why the hell not? What is with you these days, my buddy?"

"A lot of things are on my mind." Sean sighed.

Amy was seen walking out of school walking right past Jay and Sean standing in front of the school. Alex was sitting in the front seat, with the door open as she smoked a cigarette, "You Ames, you want to hang with us?" Alex plead before saying, "I feel like we never hang out anymore."

Amy smirked sympathetically, "I know Lex." before stepping in front of them, "But not tonight. I have a project to do." It was true, she was working with Emma.

"Since when is Ms. Amy all scholarly all of a sudden?" Jay raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you always have time to spend with Emma Nelson, but you never hang with us?"

"It's complicated, we have a project with Kwan."

"Since when do you care about English and grades and stuff?" Alex asked.

Amy just looked at Sean.

"Sean you got something to say?" Jay asked following Amy's eye line.

Sean just glared at Amy, "Psh no. She's my ex. Who knows why she still wont hang. I don't care if she does or she doesn't. I'm not hanging out anyway, remember?"

"I don't know I just do I'll hang another time." Amy sighed without a goodbye and walked away from Jay and his crew. It was then in her sobriety she realized just what kind of people they were. They weren't true friends, not in the least. They were good drinking buddies, good people to watch you fall and do nothing about it. She realized they weren't any good and Sean with them made it worse. Alex had been her friend since preschool, they had done everything together as kids and she had once had a personality and now she's just another guy, or another girl who has become just like her boyfriend. She felt really embarrassed that they put Sean on the spot and she expected to hear everything that he said.

Emma was trying to catch up to Amy, "Hey." She didn't sound ecstatic, she actually seemed a bit sad.

"Emma what did you say to Sean?" Amy asked knowing that when they separated at lunch, she said something to Sean.

"When?" as if she was trying to forget about it.

"Emma don't act stupid." Amy stopped walking and faced Emma, "what did you say?"

"A lot of things, I kind of acted like a freak. Like I kinda threw everything out on the table. I used to tell Sean everything, he knew all about how I came to be, and how I almost was an abortion myself and I brought that back and I said, 'how dare you try to make Amy have an abortion when if you apparently care about me you'd understand how strong I feel about things like that. She could do what she wants.' But then I kinda blacked out and I probably said some things I really didn't want to say. I feel like crap."

"Emma, wow. Thanks for sticking up for me." Amy said slowly with a light smile, "but whatever you said after that isn't true to how you feel about Sean, is it?"

Emma shrugged, "I told him something to the jist that I couldn't love him - I just didn't get around to actually saying - that I did love him anyway." Emma then paced around Amy before exclaiming, "I'm so stupid!"

"Emma you just got to talk to him."

"A-and he was . . Ames he was like trying to make things right. He was saying things that were sweet and true like he told me he's loved me pretty much since the beginning of us! How could I let my opinions get the best of me? I'm really sorry Ames, we'll have to have our study thing tomorrow."

"That's fine." Amy said nodding, "this is much more important than that."

Emma sat in her basement bedroom later that day trying hard to find Sean's number in her jumble of junk. When she did find and finally muster up everything there was a tape message, "You have reached Sean. I'm not here please leave a message, I'll get back to you, peace." With her other hand she took a swig of her Jack Daniels.

When the beep rang she finally left her message, "Sean, it's me Emma. Please listen, I feel bad about earlier, really really bad. The truth is that I love you too, I acted really dumb when I flipped out. I'm sorry and maybe you could come over tonight so we could talk in person. Please? Alright Sean, call me or just come over whatever. Bye."

Sean actually never got this message, he went for a walk around Degrassi. Emma got wiped out from the drink she had in between the time she was mustering up to call Sean, she wasted about three hours drinking anything she could find before settling for her bottle of Jack. She probably sounded like an idiot on the phone. She fell asleep around 8 but Sean smelled smoke at the beginning of her street.

Suddenly Sean sprinted down the street to see Emma's house illuminated in flames. Sean gulped fearfully, he didn't have a cell phone. He ran inside the house quickly the upstairs the kitchen half of the house was more engulfed than the side where the basement stairs laid. Sean quickly charged down the steps until he saw Emma sleeping soundly hugging her phone tight with one hand, and the bottle of Jack Daniels hanging off the bed being held by her other hand. He quickly shook her.

"What is it?" Her eyes were still closed. He removed the bottle and phone from her hands. Before carefully and quickly lifting her into his arms. She smelled his shirt where her nose was and smiled, "Oh Sean, you got my call?" They were now up the stairs and there was smoke everywhere making it hard to see and Emma then saw fire and felt the heat and she suddenly cried out. Sean held her tighter as they made their way safely out of the house. She wrapped her arms around Sean as she cried sitting on the front lawn of the house across the street.

Sean looked down at Emma stroking her cheek, "You called?"

Emma nodded. She was now sitting in his lap, her arms around him still, her eyes welling tears, "Yeah."

"What did you say?"

"It doesn't matter anymore." Emma sighed, "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Don't worry about it." Sean said with his finger wiping Emma's tears.

"I-I love you." She whispered.

"Em, I love you too." With the same hand he used to wipe her tears he cupped her face in his hands and leaned in to kiss her before pulling away, "We got to call someone about your house."

It when then that they knocked and pounded on J.T.'s grandmother's house, about two houses down. When she answered she looked as if she was sleeping, "Emma Nelson! How are you doing?"

Emma exclaimed, "I need to use your phone, quick!"

She stepped out of the way, Sean followed Emma inside to use the phone. The grandmother looked in horror, "Fire department? A fire? Oh my goodness."

Emma sighed, "Sean got me out. But we needed to call someone to get the flames out of the control."

When Sean and Emma left J.T.'s grandmothers house they went outside to see Snake and Spike exit the car in front of their home amongst the chaos of the fire trucks, and everything going on and the house still on fire, "Mom, Snake!"

Emma ran toward them, followed by Sean, "Sean got me out. He saw the house - I was asleep a-and and - -"

Spike didn't listen to a word Emma said she just hugged her, "Emma! Thank god you're okay."

Spike looked at Sean with a frail smile as he stepped slowly toward Sean and hugged him. "Thank-you, Sean."


	11. Our House

**Chapter Eleven : Our House**

**Authors Notes : **Just to let you know, I'm going to have Tracker move back to Degrassi as a twist. It isn't in the original but I loved his character, and he helps Sean out a lot. Which is cool.

**Disclaimer : **I own nothing.

_(Sean POV)_

Emma's lying in my arms for what looks to be forever. It was now three in the morning; so much had happened within the past few hours my head wants to spin. I really didn't sleep because I wanted to keep an ear out for Em. I was surprised at first that her parents allowed her to stay at my place. Her parents didn't want Em to have to transfer schools or anything so they let her stay until their house in Degrassi gets rebuilt. Emma stirred and sat up and looked at me, "How long have I been asleep?"

I yawned and told her, "About two hours."

Emma sighed, "I have nothing for school tomorrow. My homework was at my house, all my notebooks everything gone. I can't go."

"I'll let you borrow some sweats if you want."

Emma smiled lightly, "I'd like that. But it doesn't solve the homework problem. . . "

"Um, they know you wouldn't just not do your homework. You're honest; you don't lie so your teachers will understand." I thought before telling her, as I ruffled her hair. Leave it to Emma to worry the small thing. She just smiled up at me, lying there in my favorite gray hoodie.

When, I then heard a rustling and knocks at the door. I leapt from the couch until I saw my brother standing in the doorway. He had moved weeks ago to Alberta. I wondered why he was there. I know he was promised this big job promotion, he wanted me to come along but I said no, I needed to stay. In weird terms Degrassi has honestly become more home than no home at all. I mean Alberta is a strange place that I've never been to but I could never adjust in a place like that, far from everyone and far from Emma the sole purpose I wanted to stay. I wanted to see her despite our break up, and now she's here with me I wouldn't ever trade that now. My mind is in six different places still, I mean Amy's apparently pregnant with my child, Emma had a fire and is now living with me, and now Tracker is here!

"Now if I don't recall, you said I'd be knocking on your door."

"Sean, it's not what you think. I was making good money. I was really doing well, the job is great. I'm happy, it's just Wendy. She booted me out."

"Why?"

"I don't know how to tell you. " Tracker sighed and shrugged, sitting at the kitchen table, and Sean sat there too. Emma was still lying on the couch silently in the next room. "Don't know. She's pretty fucked up in the head. She gets really messed up on the coke and takes things out on me and then, yeah. She sends me packing, I'm the one who put more money into the house."

"Then you tell her to get the fuck out then!" Sean told his brother angrily.

"I wish it were that easy."

"How hard is it, you tell her you want to break up, you take your house and she's gone." I almost regretted what I said next, "but until you get that sorted out you could stay here." The shit is really going to hit the fan, and he's going to find out about everything.

"We already are broken up, it's just she wont _leave_."

"I don't have the kind of money for court though."

"Me neither, but if you save up enough probably." I supposed. The whole subject matter changed when Tracker looked up when he saw movement on the couch. Emma had been lying there and when I heard the door I just kinda walked off.

"Sean, do you have someone over?"

I looked at him, "Yeah. It's Emma."

"Nelson? Still together? "

"Yeah." I lied. It's complicated. It really is. I mean we broke up, and we got back together but pretty much aside from the month with Amy, and two months with Ellie where I really didn't feel too much I guess I could say Emma and I never truly broke up with each other.

Emma got up when she heard her name and walked up to Tracker, he asked Emma, "Long time no see. How's your mom and pops? I heard he was sick."

Emma nodded, sighing, "It's complicated."

Tracker looked at me as if I knew. I knew, but I was hoping Emma would speak for herself. He had some inkling though, she could tell her own story better but I just blurted it, "There was a fire at Emma's, and Snake and Spike sat here earlier and had made an agreement that until their house gets fixed Spike, Snake and Jack will live in Emma's grandparents house in Ajax near this one treatment center and Emma could stay here.".

"So his health got worse?" Tracker asked Emma.

She nodded, I knew it hurt for her to talk about it and Tracker just had to ask. Sometimes he really has no consideration. Like the countless times mom and dad would call the house to talk to me, and you would put me on the phone as if I could possibly say something to them. They ruined my childhood, and it's their fault I had become who I' am a sullen, asshole from time to time I have the tendency to get myself into trouble and the only person who could really straighten me out aside from Tracker is Emma. I don't need my parents; they never truly needed me unless something was in it for them. Emma asks for nothing but gives everything. Emma spoke again, "Yeah. I really before this fire hadn't seen much of them. Now I'll see them even less."

"I'm sorry, Em." Tracker attempted to lighten up the situation before asking curiously looking at the time on his cell phone, "So what's the arrangement here?" Tracker asked me, "Where do I sleep?"

"Your old room is yours." I told Tracker, "Emma is taking my bed, and I'm taking the couch."

"But Sean it's your house . . . " Emma stood up, "Shouldn't you be sleeping in your own bed?"

"No Em," I looked at her, and then at Tracker, "Tracker it's _our _house."


	12. Unraveling

**Chapter Twelve : Unraveling**

Emma tiredly approached her locker the next day in the morning when she felt something warm on her eyes. Brian had placed his hands on her eyes while he was behind her to surprise her. He was so excited to see her, and he hadn't seen or heard from her in a few days. It was Thursday, he waited the two day grace period, he simply didn't see her Monday when she was in school didn't go to school on Tuesday or Wednesday and she was currently living with Sean. Emma reacted by jumping in surprise as the person whispered in her ear, "Guess who." Since he knew she wasn't facing him his hands were suddenly massaging her waist she uncomfortably hesitated.

She simply looked upward to the ceiling still not facing the person. She knew exactly who it was and she had partially thought she would dread this moment. Her gut feeling was right. "Hey Brian."

He removed his hands from her as she turned around and looked at him. Her back was against her locker now. She cracked a smile to please him to make this easier than it looked. Nothing was easy. How was she possibly going to tell Brian what has been honestly going on? As if to say, _"Oh by the way, I know we went on a date last weekend and everything was hunky-dory and we kissed and I know you like me and all, you even went through all the trouble of looking for me all week until I went and realized I had feelings for my ex, after he saved my ass in a fire." _That would be the day you try to say that five times fast.

Brian smiled back, "Emma. What you been doing?"

Emma sighed, "I'm living with a friend of mine. Some things have came up this weekend, I'm really sorry."

"You're in and around Degrassi still? I've been trying to get in contact with you this week. It's been nearly a week. I heard your house had a fire. Thank god you're alright."

Emma looked down, nodded and sighed, "Thanks. I wasn't even here yesterday." She cracked a smile.

"Well it's good you are here today. How are you?"

"Alright, still in a little bit of shock."

"I for one never experienced a fire, but you seem to look alright. Give it time, and I'll still talk to you."

"Look I appreciate your concern . ."

"But?"

"But, nothing I appreciate it." She knew there was a big but to it, she just didn't know how she was going to say it. So she just delayed it some more.

"Do you need to see Sauve? I'll take you I have some extra time this morning."

Emma shook her head, "No."

"That doesn't make sense, Em." Brian started. "You can't sound really upset, and then not want to see someone about it. I'm sure she's heard it all if you want to talk to someone about something - talk to her. She's a life saver."

"I think I'd be fine if the fire was never brought up again. I lived, I'm fine." Brian looked down a little bit rejected when he was only trying to help and yet Emma still needed to finally reject him. "Sorry."

"It's fine. Oh by the way what are you doing this weekend?"

"Uh Brian." Emma sighed impatiently.

"Something has to be wrong."

"No." She sighed exasperatedly, "I just have plans." She lied, delaying what she honestly had to do.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I do."

"What about another weekend. Some other time?" Brian suggested.

"Look, I'm sorry but I can't, I can't do this."

"Do what? What's the matter? I knew something was! Just do me a favor and spit it out."

"Want me to be honest?" Emma asked, "I think we need to stop this."

"Stop what? You said yourself you had a good time with me. You said you liked me, you even kissed me . . . I don't understand. We talked, we had a really good talk, b-"

"I know, that was then. Just leave it alone." Emma looked down. "I can't lie to you, Bry, you were a great date. You'll someday make a girl really happy to of met you. I want you to go to work hard this year. You don't need me. You're going to be graduating this year, you don't need a girl. Go off to Banting learn all you need to learn work your ass off in college, meet great friends and maybe even a girl. Someone who you're perfect with. You are the perfect guy.

"Just not for you." He spat rudely. His anger was just boiling up.

Emma sensed he wasn't getting it. "I'm only going to hold you back and you know it! I'm a freshman in high school, I've got bad grades and issues up the wazzoo!"

"You think I don't have issues!? I told you everything."

"You simply let me in too soon."

"This has something to do with that ex of yours, right?"

"No."

"I would've said different last week, you totally were flirting it up with me at the Piercing Pagoda and then on our date Friday night you were fine. Now all of a sudden I hear about how you flipped out on your ex and now -

"That is none of your business"

"But you know, Em. It's true. You've been caught."

Emma didn't say a word.

"Yeah, I thought so."

Emma just looked down.

"What's so great about him? Isn't he the one that knocked up your friend? You seriously think dumping me is going to help? He's going to use you. If you're buying into anything that he is saying it's true you're more of a deluded slut than I had thought."

"How dare you." Emma's eyes narrowed. "It was a mistake."

"I'm looking out for you, Em. I would've defended you, I would've treated you really nice." Brian swallowed shaking his head, and sneered angrily, "I was a good guy, you're lucky you had a chance with me."

"You just proved to me, right here that you are not a nice guy. You just inspired me to not look back from this moment with you and maybe I just realized you are ten times _less _of a guy then I thought you were. I would think you would be more understanding. I was stupid to think we could be friends."

"Well if you would've opened your mouth and told me a few days ago, this would've been avoided."

"I'm not a slut, and I'm not deluded, you are for putting yourself on a fucking pedestal! Now who is deluded?" Emma got up in his face, she was infuriated now. "But you, you're the most selfish rotten self indulgent person I've ever met in my entire life, you love to build yourself up, you want a girl to feed your ego. Truth is you don't know me at all, you judged too fast. I may not be perfect, I may not be completely innocent, but I never told you, or led you to believe that I was anything close to perfect."

"Shut up."

"Me? Shut up. How about you? I could go all day."

"I think you do. I don't have time for this! Me getting showed up by a freshman?! Dream on. I don't need to stand for this. Nice knowing you. Have a nice life." He threw his fist quickly at the locker barely missing Emma's face, he was really close to her now, "You'll regret this."

He pulled away, his breath disappeared from her. Emma flew her middle finger in the air, "See you around."

She finally realized he was gone. She slid down the locker and buried her head in her hands and forced herself not to cry. Everyone in the hall was silent as they looked at her and said their little comments. She just looked at them, and they quickly returned to their business.

Amy was walking down the hallway hearing the commotion on everyone's lips. The cat was all out of the bag now. Amy knelt down by her friend, dragging her to the bathroom, "What happened."

That's when Emma started to cry, she held on to Amy and just cried. Amy stroked her friends hair.

"Am I glad to see you? How are you, I mean I would call you but - "

"I heard about the fire, I just didn't expect to see you at school, or in the area." Amy exclaimed laughing, "Is it true you're living with Sean?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Oh and I heard about Brian. Everyone is talking about it."

"Great, I'm never leaving this bathroom for the rest of the day." Emma sighed.

"No, Em. It's okay. He's a jerk, people were talking about how much of a jerk he's being."

"I didn't want to hurt him." Emma sighed, as she walked over the mirror and leaned in closer taking a glimpse, "I look like I've been run over by a bus or something."

Amy put her hand on Emma's shoulder, "Don't be so hard on yourself. It'll all be okay."


	13. Small Changes

**Chapter Thirteen: Small Changes**

After school Emma knew she needed a job. She went to every store in town until she found herself in front of the movie theatre snack stand with none other than Alex Nunez. She knew Alex quite well, the same girl who she fought earlier this year and had said some words about her in the past.

She swallowed hard before walking up. Alex was less than thrilled tapping her acrylic nails on the countertop. "What can I get for you?"

"Uhm hi, are you hiring?" Emma asked. There weren't any people at the food court near the movies Emma had left school a little early, and by the time she got to the mall school had been out for quite some time now.

Alex nodded as she crept down to grab some papers from the counters with a scoff. "You're in luck there's a good chance you'll get he job because we had a lot of people leaving." She never thought she would see the day that Daddy's girl Emma Nelson would be looking for a job. She knew about the fire, but she didn't know why the girl would have the nerve to stay in Degrassi, or where she was even staying. She also knew Emma was slowly becoming more Amy's friend than her own and it got to Alex and she wasn't sure why. "You're joking right?" The paper was still in her hand. Emma tried to grab for it but Alex cruelly kept moving it, as if she was testing her.

Emma was impatient but she shook her head to answer the question, looking straight into Alex's eyes. "I'm in serious need of a job."

Alex sympathetically gave in dropping the paper on the countertop with a pen. "You could sign the application here at the mall at one of those tables and then I'll give it to Meerie when you're through." She backed up to check on things while she had been working with Emma.

Emma finally took the paper in her hand and the pen adjusting the strap on her purse before walking away silently to the series of tables not far off from the place. She never felt so awkward before, Alex was the one person who she knew didn't like her much at all. Truth was Emma was likeable to some, lately few and tolerated by many and Alex was the one person she knew hated her. Why on earth was she about to sign her life away so to speak, to work with Alex? She just didn't want to be a bother at Sean's. She figured getting a job would help out; neither Sean nor Tracker knew Emma was going out to get a job. Besides being at Sean's was still funny to her, not funny like a joke but funny because she wasn't settled in and she wasn't quite sure what to make of what's happening with Sean. It's awkward to say the least. She liked him, in fact she more than liked him and he obviously was into her as well. They hadn't really gotten too deep in conversation about it, it's more of a thing that they've determined as unspoken and besides when Sean found out about her date with Brian Sean was professing his love to her and he was upset and then the whole thing with Amy but all of the anger she had about it seemed to fade when her true feelings molded into her mind and she began to regret what she said and let herself fall for Sean finally.

Finally Emma finished the application and sat up and returned to the counter. Alex was in the back for a little bit before coming back with Meerie. "Hello Emma."

"Hi." Emma waved shyly.

"I'm going to hire you. You start work tomorrow after school. I'll give you your uniform then, come early as you can. If you may Alex, would you mind driving her? You both attend the same high school. It would be convenient."

Her eyes locked with Alex's for a moment. Alex looked over at Meerie faking a smile, "That wouldn't be a problem."

As you know Alex doesn't own her own car, she gets a ride from her boyfriend Jay. How on Earth was she going to explain that Emma would be riding with them to work daily? Alex could only imagine the words that would be exchanged between Jay and her when she announces that one to him. But she wanted to please Meerie so she agreed, _oh the things I do for work _she thought to herself glumly.

"Good!" Meerie exclaimed, "You'll also be training our new employee. So I'll leave you two alone to discuss rides and stuff. I'll see you tomorrow Emma."

"See you later Meerie." Alex and Emma said in unison the raven-haired girl grinned, quickly before her smile faded and she just looked at Emma. Emma looked at Alex sheepishly leaning her small frame against the countertop. "So, meet me near the flagpole outside school tomorrow around 3."

"Sounds good. Thanks." Emma smiled with an understanding nod.

"Meerie's ideas not mine. Don't think I'm doing this because I want to trust me I don't."

"Look Alex, I don't want to inconvenience you that is not what I'm about . . . But Alex seriously if we're going to work together we got to put our claws away, understand? A few months ago in the hallway. . "

"Nothing happened." Alex snapped, adding quickly. "I get it, Emma. You can go do what you want to do, just remember be at the flagpole right after school or no ride."

"Cya." Emma stopped leaning and got up as she walked away from the food court station, the location of her future job and she just had her first confrontation with her coworker. _This was going to be quite an experience_, Emma supposed.

- x -

Emma took out her house key Sean gave her the other day but fortunately she saw that when she twisted the knob to find the door was already open so she knew somebody was home. She put her house key back into her purse safely. She looked up to notice Sean was sitting on the couch watching television while eating his dinner. "Hey Sean." she said to him smiling. He perked up and got up from the couch to greet her with a hug. She was sort of caught off guard but she returned the hug he was so much warmer than the temperature outside.

"Where did you go?" Sean asked curiously still holding her slender body in his arms. She slightly pulled away, his arms still loosely hugging her ass he looked into his eyes, "I guess you left school?"

"I couldn't be there." She looked down and then back up at Sean. Sometimes the way he looked at her she just knew he knew something was wrong, just like when he caught on that one day in the morning on the gym floor she had been drinking or when he felt that tingle in the back of his mind, like when your ears ring that Emma was in danger on the night of the fire. He knew there something more than just not being able to take her out of his mind it was a hunch she was in trouble and he had been right on the money.

"What happened? Tell me. Sit down with me." Sean led Emma to the couch as they sat together on the couch he had lifted her so that she was on his lap.

Emma sighed before explaining, "I got a job today."

"Then why aren't you celebrating? That's a good thing." Sean asked while grinning, you could see his cute dimples on his cheeks for a moment, and she smiled back less enthused. Then, he didn't smile. It was like she saw his eyes speak to her, and she had to tell him exactly what was on her mind, he knew something was wrong. "In all seriousness though, you look upset. Something happen?"

Emma sighed breathlessly looking up and then back at Sean, "Do you remember Brian?"

Sean nodded, rolling his eyes, "What about him?"

"He flipped out on me today."

Sean tensed up and clenched his fist, "Did he hurt you?

She put her hands up on his chest facing him on his lap now shaking her head. "No nothing like that, he just said mean things."

"Like what?" He asked still angry his jaw clenched like he was about to hurt someone.

"I don't even remember, it just upset me. I turned him down and then he just attacked me with all this stuff out of nowhere. What's worse is he did it in the hallway, in the morning in front of everyone!"

"I wasn't there, I didn't hear him. Be glad that I wasn't, I would've kicked his ass. Sure he's older and athletic and all but he knows he wouldn't be able to walk at graduation if he touches me."

"You turned him down? B-but I thought you had fun with him on your date with him? I don't understand." Sean shook his head silently in disbelief, he didn't get it. He didn't get how Emma felt.

"You don't know why I turned Brian down? Do I really have to tell you?" Emma asked.

Sean shrugged just looking at Emma.

"I like you. I like you a lot, and I want a chance with you, nobody else. I was hoping that we could be an us."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Sean told her before a smile played on his lips, Emma's blonde hair had been in front of her face for a moment, hiding her face so he slowly with his hand pushed her hair back, holding her cheek with his hand, and brushing her cheek with his thumb before leaning in to kiss Emma for a few moments. She accepted the kiss, as he pulled her closer to him as he slipped some tongue into the kiss. He deepened the kiss once more as he adjusted himself, placing Emma's back onto the couch so that she was looking up at him when they broke the kiss for just a moment. She smiled at him laying herself down before they began making out again.


	14. Shades of Pink

**Chapter Fourteen: Shades of Pink**

A few hours later Tracker stood in the crook of door in what is usually his room, shaking his head. He saw Emma and Sean soundly sleeping in bed. He's not naïve or stupid, he knew what had just happened and he just found it funny. It was only a matter of time that his brother and her would finally be able to know how each other felt about one another. To him it was the most obvious thing in the world. Last night before he went out to his job to get his paycheck Emma wasn't home and he talked to Sean. He claimed Emma wasn't his girlfriend, but the undertone convinced him that it was an _almost _deal. As if he forgot to say, **yet **- "she's not my girlfriend _yet_."

Momentarily, Emma woke up first wrapping the sheet closely around her as soon as she saw the would-be intruder. As if he was going to care, Sean's her boyfriend. Her movement woke up Sean, he sat up quickly and saw Tracker. Sean turned at least six shades of red, and maybe pink. Tracker finally spoke to Sean, "Do you think her parents would appreciate that right there? Do you think they would've wanted that if she stayed at your place?"

"Tracker. . " Sean told him in an annoyed voice as his face was continuing to darken into darker shades of red.

Tracker quickly defended himself acting as if he never talked about it. "I didn't see anything. I just saw you two in here."

"How long were you standing there?" Emma asked curiously narrowing her eyes.

"Meh, just a minute, you woke up right away." Tracker said, his hands were in his pocket of his jeans. He figured he just wanted to ask his question and go. Things were getting strangely awkward. "I wanted to ask you two where I could get a decent meal around here? Like a really good cheeseburger, a coke and some fries? I don't want to cook tonight." Perhaps it was code to get him out of the house for the night. He felt bad enough for waking them up.

Sean grabbed his pants and his boxers from the side of the bed and quickly stood up throwing on a tee-shirt. "I'd say The Dot."

"Oh alright, thanks Sean. I'll leave you two little love birds to you know . . carry on and do your thing." Tracker said with a snicker as he left the bedroom and moments later he was heard shutting the front door.

Emma ran her hand through her blonde tangled mess of hair. She looked to her right, smiled nervously at Sean who simply got back next to her on the bed. Emma was still sitting up leaning her head against the headboard.

"I knew Tracker would say something."

"Yeah." Emma said turning on her side facing Sean, laying her head back on the pillow with the sheet still around her.

Sean followed her as he laid down his head on the other pillow and took her hand. Both of them lying there side by side. "So what kind of job did you get?"

"The movie stand, I was hired on the spot, only problem is I don't think my co-worker likes me."

"Alex Nunez is the only person I've seen working there who would have a problem with you. After all, rumor has it you kneed her square in the nose."

Emma flirtatiously opposed the statement, "Well she started it."

"What did she say?" Sean asked curiously.

"She really is flat as a board." Emma said finally.

Sean's eyes widened, "You heard her say that?"

She nodded. "I had some pent up anger issues. She also started it that same day. I mean she said some mean things to me. She didn't like me, what I was, who I was and what I stood for. She threw paper at me. It was the day I found out Snake had a will, it wasn't a good day. So, aside from all of that I wasn't doing well. The last straw. We fought in the hallway, right there."

"I guess she can't hurt you now that she and you work together, right?"

Emma shrugged, "She looked less than thrilled when she told me that I have to get a ride to work with her everyday."

"With Jay . . " Sean finished.

"With Jay." She repeated, laden with sarcasm. "Oh joy."

"If you want me to talk to them, I will."

"No, it'll be alright I can handle it." Emma told him.

"You _always_ say that."

"So what do you want to do tonight? We could order a pizza if you want? I know you can't resist the double cheese?"

"That could be nice." She grinned.

Sean grabbed the phone from the side of the bed and called the local pizza place called Tony's.

- x -

Tracker walked into The Dot. Some indie rock music was being played and the place was a nice get together there were couches in the corner and tables all around. The decorations were quite homey and as much as the place was crowded it was pretty spacious as well. But you could honestly say it was pretty packed in there, and it happened to be a Friday night. Every table except for one table was filled and it was near the front of the place. She was young, maybe in high school wearing black was sitting at the table alone. Her eyes were dark caked with mascara and eyeliner and her hair was candy apple red in braids. She had wrist band on with lyrics sewn on that he didn't recognize. She was writing in a notebook, she had tea and a plate of french-fries. He just stood there by the table and there were empty seats around. The girl looked up at Tracker giving him a look.

"Are these seats taken?" Tracker asked her nervously.

"No my friends Boris, Lawrence and his buds are here." She answered sarcastically.

Tracker gave her a pleading look causing her to shake her head. "No they're all yours."

He took the seat nearest to her, "Tracker."

He stuck his hand out for her to shake, she hesitated before she finally shook his hand. "Ellie." She told him.

"What are you doing all alone?" He asked.

"Well I was writing, and eating and stuff." She answered, "obviously."

"I mean on a Friday night. . You're all alone."

"Oh, that." She said dully. "Well let me paint the picture for you, my gay best friend sits with the cool kids and his boyfriend in which he completely ignores me and barely hangs with me. To make matters worse I just got dumped a few weeks back, I found out this particular guy I dated happened to get another girl knocked up and he's back with his ex. On the home front, my mom is an alcoholic and my dad is in the military. I'm actually pretty peachy keen if I do say so myself."

"Oh . . Wow. I-I'm sorry Ellie."

"Not you too." She said. "I'm so sick of hearing sorry, or they can't handle it."

"I know what it's like to have alcoholic parents, I mean be glad it's just your mom. I had my mom as well as my dad. In fact I moved here to get away a few years back, me and my brother."

"You have a brother?" Ellie asked.

He nodded. "Yeah I do. Anyway do you have any siblings?"

Ellie shook her head, "Only child. Why haven't I seen you around?"

"I moved for a bit but recently came back my ex booted me out of our place we bought. I really wasn't even gone long."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Not you too." he mimicked.

"What you took that from me?" She looked at him, as she cracked a smile and it was all it could take to get him to want to know her more.

"You should smile more often." He told her simply, "it's cute."

If it were possible, he wasn't too sure if it was she beamed even bigger. "Cute? Really?"

"Yeah, really." Tracker answered before he looked down at her notebook. "So cute I'd just have to give you my number, that you don't have to call but if you'd like to that's quite alright."

"Well thanks. It'd be nice to have somebody to talk to." She answered. Normally she would cut a guy to pieces if he even looked at her or tried to hit on her. He was different, he was mature about it, he wasn't like the guys she went to school with. It was a plus that he was probably on the same wavelength and intellectual level of hers.

"My pleasure." He told her.

"Pleasure is mine." Ellie told him, her cheeks were starting to pink.

Just then Spinner came up to them, "Can I get you anything? Sorry it took me a bit to get to your table, we're just so packed tonight!"

"Uh yeah a Pepsi and a burger."

"We have like five types of burgers. What do you want on the burger anyway?"

"Deluxe the works anything, whatever kind of burger you got."

"The Dot burger is the best choice. My buddy Sean gets it with the works including chili." Ellie rolled her eyes and quietly returned to her writing. Tracker didn't make the connection he just nodded.

"Go with the chili then." Spinner said as he jotted down the order. "I'll be back hopefully soon, enjoy yourself."

Spinner walked off from the table to place the order in. Ellie kept looking at the guy she had met and hoped silently for something good. Just a moment later, Tracker looked at her too and smiled back.


	15. Sabotge

**Authors Note: **

No this story has not been abandoned, and forgotten, I had a brief case of the busywithschools, very painful ihavewritersblockosis and a bad case of procrastination pox.

It has been awhile indeed and I hadn't really added to this but I've been experiences the clash of if I should include what I had done in the past and how to sageway into other things so I did a cross between the two. This chapter is long (9 pages in Word actually) but pretty eventful, it's got a little bit of everything here. We have a new character who doubles as a potential love interest for Amy's character.

What goes through my mind when I think about him is _Daria_. She had a friend Jane - just think about her brother - Trent I believe his name was, if he were a real guy, personality cast aside but being in a band, the scratchy voice but with a more sweet personality would be **Trent**. Trent is looking for a band, and he is a bassist. The possibility is that he joins The Downtown Sasquach later on down the line because I'm trying to get another story going in this story, so basically a B or C plot, actually a D - including Craig and Manny. (hence 'I Have Nothing' is an alternate of the second half of season three and season three is incomplete without Craig and Manny or Craig at any rate and the fact that I want to change the way it was written in mid-three because Craig trying to get Ashley's forgiveness aint gonna happen in this story.)

I was on the bus yesterday after classes and I just thought about 2 pages of ideas and I think they're winners, you'll be pleased. There will still be Emma and Sean, strong as always, there will be Amy's baby drama, Ellie's thing for Tracker there will be Jay and Alex and the Candy Bandits friendship and there will be the return of a not-so great character and one character will fall into a bad habit once again down the line. I don't want to spoil people on my own fanfic, just saying there's going to be many more updates in quicker times - just so you know. Here is chapter (I can't believe it's made it to numeric-wise) fifteen: Sabotage.

**Chapter Fifteen: Sabotage**

Emma walked into school throwing her books in her locker and shutting the door to it while her best friend Amy walked up. She leaned her body against the locker next to Emma's and concealed herself; she loved to see her friend's reaction. "Boo." She said simply. She had her books close to her chest; her blonde shoulder length hair was down and fastened with a barrette.

Emma jumped and looked at Amy, "Kill me why don't you, you know I can't stand when you do that."

Amy laughed, "It was a last hurah."

"You say that all the time but you know I'll give that to you." Emma laughed rolling her eyes, facing her friend causing Amy's eyes to widen all at once. "What is it, Ames?"

"Your neck," She said pointing, "take a look at that."

Emma panicked opening up her locker to her mirror before she looked at it and gasped, before laughing, "Oh _that_, I knew that was there."

"Spill," Amy told Emma.

"Well last night . . ."

"What?"

"Look at you! You are just on the edge of your little seat." Emma exclaimed.

"Tell me." Amy pouted. pretending to cry.

Emma crossed her arms shaking her head, obviously lying, "I don't kiss and tell."

"What about more than kiss?" Amy inquired. ", because that right there says otherwise."

"Well, alright just this once." Emma leaned over and whispered into Amy's ear, "Sean and I had sex last night."

The other girl's mouth gaped open. "You have to be shitting me. I know you guys live together, really?"

Emma nodded beaming, and blushing. She wasn't facing Amy art this moment fixing her bag on her shoulder. Emma was now blocking her face with her hands she exclaimed ", don't look at me."

Amy laughed, "I knew it was going to happen. You are totally glowing!"

"Speaking of Sean, Ames," Emma returned to a serious expression facing Amy. Her hands down and her face softened. "What are you going to do?"

"Em, I think I'm going to keep the baby." Amy answered with a smile. "I went over my cousin April's house and watched her two year old nephew and realized maybe I can actually handle this." She said as she held her stomach that was still notably flat and she wasn't showing too too much just yet.

Emma beamed wrapping her arms around her friend, "I'm so happy for you."

"Really?"

"Of course, what are friends for? I think maybe having this baby could be good for you . . I mean someone to love. I mean what's not to love?"

Amy smiled into the hug. "Any other news?"

Emma let go of Amy and faced her again, "I got a job."

"Really? Where?" She asked excitedly.

"Movie convenience stand."

"Where Lexxi works?"

"Yes." Emma answered, "You're friends with her right?"

Amy answered, "Is she being mean to you? I-"

"Not exactly. If there's a problem I'll let you know. I just can't be late after school to meet up with her for a ride. Our boss is crazy, she forced it on Alex. Apparently, Alex doesn't get a ride to work, Jay gives her a ride."

"I know that." Amy said, "Well, if anything goes wrong tell me. I have to hand this in to Mr. Armstrong so; see you at lunch and stuff?"

"Yes." Emma nodded, "see you later."

After she said goodbye to Amy, she started to walk into the direction of her homeroom. Suddenly she was distracted, seeing Jay Hogart staring her down looking as if he wanted to talk to her. She, intimidated looked up at him. He then said to her, "I don't know if Alex told you but meet us at the flagpole 3 sharp." He acted like he was such a wise guy and it really bothered her. She was grateful she was getting a ride to work but she felt so scared and uncomfortable with Jay and Alex.

Emma nervously nodded her head. Jay always made Emma feel uncomfortable, he was such a dark rude and crude person in her opinion and all he had ever done to her was make her feel bad. "Thanks."

"So I heard you live with Cameron." he said. He was about to say a few other things until there was an interruption.

Emma nodded an answer though. Suddenly Sean came from behind and wrapped his arms around Emma. Jay walked away suddenly vanishing as she turned her attention to her boyfriend who was behind her. "Hey." Sean moved his head so that he was able to kiss her cheek. "What did he say to you?"

"Jay just said that he heard we live together . . . You showed up and he walked away." Emma explained shrugging. She then turned around and faced Sean giving him a quick passionate kiss on the mouth. Sean smiled back when the kiss broke. "Just letting you know I have work after school."

"You tell me if anything happens with Alex or Jay." Sean asked worriedly.

"You have nothing to worry about." She stressed shaking her head, "I'll be fine."

"I can't wait to see you when you get home though."

"I will get home alive, babe."

"That's how I like you." He winked "I know. I just want them to know you're my girl and they're not going to change that. You know? Mistreating you would only mean trouble for them."

She draped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. "Mmhm, so what do you want to do when I get out of work?"

"See a movie?"

"I'd like that; I'd like it a lot." She said beaming. Sean too was beaming as she added, "Perfect, then come to my work a little before six so we can see a movie after I get out. Okay?"

"Okay, I love you."

Emma sighed. "I love you too." She pulled him into a kiss as the bell rang for a class. She pulled away as did unwillingly still wanting more but then she giggled, "I'm going to be late! I'll see you later."

After school Emma waited by the flagpole. Minutes went by, and pretty soon she was there for a good half hour and before long Amy was coming out of the school after seeing Armstrong after school for tutoring. "Em, I thought you had work?"

"Alex left me here I guess, I guess I'm fired?"

"Not if I can help it."

Emma quickly followed Amy, hoping Amy wouldn't go too hard on Alex due to her fear of Alex especially in the workplace. "Please don't say anything bad."

"She sabotaged you Emma; I thought you'd be with me on this! Now get in, I'm taking you to work - we don't have to talk to Alex we'll talk to Meryl."

Emma sat in the passenger's seat and sighed. "If she even wants to talk to me, I let her down, it's my first day!"

Amy quickly put the key in the ignition and backed out and swallowed hard. "Who is she going to believe? Alex? Who is one person standing up for well nothing except maybe? Her own bad action?"

"Do you think it'll be more trouble than it's worth though?" Emma asked putting on her seatbelt as Amy pulled out of her parking spot as she added, "I don't want to subject myself to her shit just because I want to help out at Sean's you know? I don't have to, but I want to."

"I know, girl but you're being mistreated and Meryl needs to know you aren't negligent and that Alex left you when she specifically asked her to find a way to go together."

When Emma and Amy finally arrived Alex pouted while crossing her arms. Meryl saw Emma and shook her head sighing. Emma silently hoped that Meryl can believe her as she approached her. Emma spoke before Meryl could, "Can I talk to you ma'am? I know I'm late and I can explain why, and it isn't my fault can I say?"

"Let's go to my office." Meryl simply said to Emma nodding as the blonde followed her.

"Look who I can't count on, Amy." Alex said standing at the counter eyeing Amy as if Amy was the deer and Alex was the hunter ready to aim and fire. "

"Oh shut up, Amy. Cut to the chase, so why did you drive Emma here?"

"Why did you ditch her?" Amy asked advancing forward.

Alex huffed and shrugged rolling her eyes saying nothing, an average Alex occurrence. Alex reacts all the same when she does something unjustifiable. For example, she did a similar thing back in sixth grade when the girls were asked by their teacher why they put gum in Ethel Morris' hair everyday for a month without her noticing. Ethel had thick wavy dark hair that something like gum could get lost in, it was like a forest tunnel of hair it was a pain to get all of it out and all Alex could do was shrug, smack her gum and roll her eyes, its classic typical Alex. "What's it to you anyway?"

"I want to know, Alex."

"I don't want to work with her."

"That is incredibly selfish of you. " Amy said shaking her head, "And another thing, Emma is my friend, and what you did was unfair and rude. You didn't do what Meryl asked you -"

"And so you know - what Meryl asked me to do is none of your business, Amy. Stay out of it; you shouldn't have driven her here, now I'm going to get shit from Meryl. Just seriously Emma Nelson shouldn't be working period; she's being saved time where she can be shopping or spending time with baby brother and doing her environmental things whatever the hell the girl does."

"What do you know about her? Why are you so judgmental? She had a fire she's living at her boyfriends in case you didn't know! You just can't stand her and really I'm beginning to wonder why people stand you! Just incase you didn't know she really isn't a bad person - at all. She's more of a friend than you will ever be."

"That's funny, what about us? I thought _we _were friends, and friends side with friends and I know I've known you a hell of a lot longer than she and you."

"I wouldn't say we're friends, Lex. I have had more than one reason why and it has nothing to do with Emma except the fact that she's actually there for me."

"You're full of shit, Ames. We're always going to be friends, and you know you and Emma are only friends because Santos aint there right now, but just you wait - when they're back in full swing you'll have nobody. You're nothing with out me and the guys. We've been friends since . . God knows when. Why should we stop now?"

"But ever since you've been with Jay it's like you don't even care what happens to me. Moreover when I passed out at Sean's party and got alcohol poisoning nobody from there visited me, not even _you _when I was in the hospital. What a best friend you are, I know I would've visited you."

"I had work . . "

"I know if I was your mother in the hospital you wouldn't be using work as an excuse. You're sel-"

"Don't you dare bring my mother into this." Alex snarled in reply slapping Amy clear across the face.

Amy recoiled touching her impacted cheek quickly regaining herself from her shock. She removed her hand and observed that she wasn't bleeding. She looked up at Alex and shook her head as she pushed Alex hard causing her to loose her balance as more fighting ensued.

Meanwhile Emma and Meryl are in the office. "I could sense there was division between Alex and you. I see you as responsible and all and I thank you for coming in to tell me the truth. You are excused; you can go change into your uniform." Meryl listened to Emma's story and offered her observation, siding with Emma leading her towards the door but nothing would be able to prepare them for what they would see next.

Emma left the office as she saw Amy against the wall and Alex punch Amy hard in the stomach, after she slid down and reached the ground. Amy had a tight grip on Alex's hair. Emma hollered to get their attention, "What is wrong with you guys?" Alex had her first in the air, but stopped quickly glaring endlessly at Emma knowing that she had said something to get her into trouble.

Meryl stepped between the two girls who were previously fighting and looked Alex in the eyes, "You can leave, you know - you are suspended two weeks and docked pay for the stunts you just pulled today." Meryl returned to her office silently after.

Alex walked away before she last looked back. Amy was on the ground holding her stomach crying as she began to worry about her child. Emma knelt beside her and leaned against the wall sighing trying to catch her breath.

"Emma . . Oh my god, ow." Amy manages to let out as she fights to get up but can't quite get there. Emma helps her friend up, and leans her against the wall briefly. "The baby, I need to see a doctor . . . she punched me."

"I saw and I was meaning to ask. Does she know?" Emma asked in a whisper.

Amy shrugged and shook her head, fighting off tears. "I don't know."

"Are you okay to drive?"

"No, will you drive me?"

"Amy! I only have my permit I'll be caught for sure."

"Ems. . ." she winced out in pain regaining herself, "I've driven without a license all the time I used to hotwire cars with Lexxi. Don't you worry."

Moments later Emma nervously put the key in the ignition and off they were to the hospital. Fortunately the hospital wasn't far away since the movie theatre and mall were close by to each other in the city like section of their town; the hospital was in a bout a five mile radius.

They went to a stoplight and Emma was inline with a car of cops. She looked over and nervously waved to them, they waved back and nodded acknowledging her and then the light turned green again and they were making the turn there.

Amy giggled and looked at her friend from the passenger's side, "Did you see you face when those cops stopped next to us at the light?"

"I was so scared, I just waved." Emma laughed lightly, making the turn slowly into the hospital parking lot when smoother than she had expected. "Now here is the complicated part, parking." Emma told Amy and mostly herself as she tried and managed to park her car.

"You did it girl!" Then they walked into the emergency room, checked in with the guy at the desk and then sat down. There was a good looking guy with raven colored hair, a black band tee and distressed jeans and a bass in a case with him, clearly a musician. He had a tourniquet on his finger holding it in place and had the tinge of impatience written all over him, Amy flashed him a kind smile as he saw them sit close by and happened to be looking in their direction.

"Hey girls," He managed to say awkwardly, he had a scratchy voice and the most gorgeous green eyes. "I'm Trent I'm new in town."

"I'm Amy, and this is my friend Emma." Amy answered combing her fingers through her blonde hair after she shook hands with the stranger. "What happened to you?"

"I was playing bass without my pic like a badass showing off at this party at this kid's house last night and I've been waiting here for like a billion hours. They made me this tourniquet so I didn't loose too much blood on the way here and all. I ended up bleeding pretty bad and what's weird is I play my bass all the time without my pick and nothing really happens, but this time I had bad luck I guess." He finished with a light laugh; he had his eye on Amy the whole time. "So, Blondie why are you here?"

She lightly laughed, "Well, I got in a fight because I was defending my friend Emma at work, the girl was friends with me for a long time and we had a pretty bad fight."

"I wouldn't have been able to tell you had a fight. What do you think is hurt?"

"Well . . ." She started to say before a nurse approached Trent.

"Trent the doctor will now see you." She was in colorful scrubs with a triangle pattern, a clipboard in hand her dark hair in a messy bun and blue pants.

Trent got up before taking a magazine tearing off part of the cover putting his cell number down with a pen he happened to simply take from the woman with the clipboard and giving it to Amy, "Call me."

"I will bye." Amy smiled before looking at her friend and gleefully squealed when he was out of sight and earshot. "Oh my gosh"

"He was cute." Emma told Amy with a big grin.

"Dibs," Amy giggled. "Hands off he's mine."

"Oh I know, _besides _I have Sean." Emma replied gleefully.

"By the way how is that going?" Amy asked.

"Good, I feel like I don't see him though enough and it's bad because we actually live together."

"Don't worry; at least you know you'll get the guy. How much you want to bet he just gave me the number, just because."

"If I'm not mistaken he seemed interested, for the short being that you two were talking."

"I know I know he won't be when he finds out about my baby though."

"Hey hey, you don't know that, for all you know he might love kids. Not all guys react that way. You'll be fine, just give him a call maybe tomorrow. You know just ask him how his finger is. I completely forgot! I better walk back now so then Sean and I can go see that movie. Tell me how everything goes tomorrow morning, love you girl."

Amy waved to her friend and waited patiently hoping that her baby would be okay.


	16. Friday Night

**Authors Note: **

Glad that chapter fifteen was enjoyed I admit it was a long one but I had a lot of fun writing it and it was VERY belated. I believe it needed to be jam packed. I want to mention that Season 3 was set in and in-between the year 2003 and 2004 so the movie Sean and Emma are going to see in the movies is from 2004.

This is the beginning of the TrackerEllie talks and the CraigManny and future Manny character development into his fan fiction because she wasn't around prior. So it was a fairly easy task to introduce both plots I decided to use POV's to sink into the character's mindset especially that of Craig and Manny - we get both of their point of views here on each other especially after what happened between them/events of season 3. Emma and Sean have a simplistic relationship, very cutsey date which is the least of this chapter merely a developmental chapter for the other D plots and such to play in.

**RECAP:**

**A **plot is Emma and Sean Emma's drinking problem which is pretty much on hiatus at the moment, the past, her family problems and her and Sean are pretty much the main plot of this particular fan fiction. This was how it all begins, the fact that Sean left Ellie for Emma but then finds out about Amy and such is the main plot.

**B** plot is Amy and Emma's friendship which is/will include Amy and Trent which will be explored in the coming chapters. I figured it was too much to include them now in chapter sixteen I think too much would be going on.

**C** plot is the candy bandits I suppose like Jay and Alex, a very minor plot but still a plot none the less does include the fact that Emma works at the movie food stand and the fact that Sean remains friends with Jay this is still developing in importance since the fight between AmyAlex will cause rifts.

**D** plot is Ellie and Tracker their back stories and Tracker's relationship with his ex and why he came back to Degrassi.

**E** plot is Trent and his back story and him and Craig's friendship.

Just so you know I LOVE reviews so the more I get from readers the more I think to add more. I can say this is one of my pride and joy fanfictions and it makes me really happy to write it. (:

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Chapter Sixteen: Friday Night**

Tracker sat at home contemplating to dial Ellie, the girl he had met at The Dot a few nights earlier. They had some things in common, and she may have been young in his eyes but she was mature beyond her years and he liked that about her. She was worth giving a chance and she was beautiful and alone as he was after having bad fallout of a break up with Wendy. He heard the dial tone and a familiar voice pick up. "Hey who is this?"

"It's Tracker; remember me from the other night?" He tried to sound subtitle but still interested enough to get her to like him.

Ellie was thrilled to hear from him she tried to hide it but he heard that she was slightly hiding that emotion, he had been on her mind as well and she was happy that he called her. "Oh hello, how are you?"

"I'm good pretty good though just wondering what you were doing tonight."

"I don't have plans," she answered, before asking coyly, "why?"

"I want to spend some time with you, how about dinner or something?"

"I'd like that, could be fun."

"Very well could be. How about I pick you up at seven?"

"Seven is great."

"Where do you live Ellie?"

"17 Birch I live in the brick house with black shutters."

"Alright then, bring a warm jacket I have somewhat of a surprise."

"Surprise huh? I think this is enough of a surprise having plans on a Friday night."

Tracker snickered, "Yes a surprise, I think you'll have a lot of fun."

"Alright, well I better get ready stuff then so talks to you later, see you at seven?"

"I won't be late, bye," Tracker hung up and silently whispered, "Yes!"

_(Craig POV)_

I make mistakes honest and most of them are careless mistakes and I'm the last person of everyone to admit that I make them. I say sorry and nine times out of ten I'll mean it. I doubt the same exception would be made to me though when there's something you have done and it isn't what you wanted to do, you just froze and completely choked when you had to make a choice. I was faced between two girls who I really liked Manny and Ashley and I was going to make my choice and then suddenly I was given a guitar as a gift after the string broke on my old one. I picked nobody and before long the shit hit the fan and I lost both of them and I followed around Ashley like a puppy without a leash for weeks to find she will never ever forgive me no matter what I do she'd hang it over my head even if she did forgive me. I can't make her forgive me; she is simply not having it. I don't even know why I even bothered if I couldn't even tell her I loved her for real when I very well had more than one opportunity and I did something as wrong as cheating on her and I know what I did, and I still kept doing it anyway then I doubt I would deserve her forgiveness at all. It's taken me this long to realize that maybe I didn't love Ashley Kerwin an ounce, no not maybe yes I didn't love Ashley at all and it simply was summer love that took off into something that even confuses me. We spent day after day in shops together down the shore swapping songs and little did we know we had things in common with that but aside from that nothing, perhaps a possible attraction. Honestly, when I rewind my original choice I realize it got distorted after the Christmas gift and I was being incredibly selfish because the girl I wanted was under my nose, and under my skin for over a year, that Manny Santos never fails to grip onto my mind. Ashley is a smart girl, she saw it was ending, and she thought that she could buy herself time by trying to buy me love and I got blind sighted and lost sight of the girl I truly did want. It's just too little too late I fear, she's probably moving up on and out.

I'm not going to give up though I refuse to give up I already let her walk out twice and I'm letting her walk by again in her midriff bearing top and jeans and I'm not letting them happen once again. "Manny!" I called after her. She was staying after school to audition for some school play and I was in the band room after school so it was now 4:30.

"What do you want?" she asked stopped in her tracks in the silent hallway caught without a smile but a quick turn around to acknowledge me. She was pissed still I can see it that girl just wears her emotions on her sleeve for the whole world to see, there wasn't that dimply smile or greeting that she used to grace me with but simply a blank stare. She looked like Manny but she was most certainly not Manny.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

She sighed shrugging rolling her eyes opening up her cell to display the current time. "I have skating practice in forty-five minutes and I can't be late," she replied adjusting her strap on her book bag, "you have five minutes."

"That's perfect I want to say that I'm sorry for everything I said did and that I really messed up."

"Gave up on trying to romance Ashley, Craig? Please save it I've heard it all before and I've heard all about it." She tried to walk away but I stepped in front of her.

"N-N-No that's not it at all Manny I'm really sorry. I want to make it up to you, it took me this long to realize that you are the girl for me give me a chance to prove I'm not lying to you."

Then she reiterated making me look like a fool or trying to she was just not thinking about my intentions. She still thinks I'm that punk who led her on to believe he was going to break up with the girlfriend she was the quintessential "other woman" in this situation. That was then and I know what I want now and all that matters is the now and not the past right? "You said you were going to be with me and then turns out you never told Ashley that you were going to break up with her and I believed you."

I thought she cast this thought of me as a jerk aside when we were working together about possibly raising a child together and it didn't work because I think she was always harboring the feelings of rejection but I think she wasn't emotionally ready or physically ready to carry on and I overreacted because I promised myself a long time ago if I were to ever father a child I'd make sure that we as the parents stick together.

"Do you want the truth?" She nodded at me before I finished, "I was going to pick you! I went to Ashley's to tell her and she gave me a guitar and all this stuff. I thought you were over this stuff anyway."

"Craig I'm still upset about the whole thing, the whole thing abortion and baby thing included. It's hard to trust you if I can't trust you how could I befriend you or most importantly take you back? I loved you and I wanted to be with you and when it didn't happen I got upset and whatever I have skating bye."

"Manny!" I called after her but there was no use telling her everything got me nowhere. I kicked my locker agitated with everything. I messed up but something tells me not to to give up on Manny just yet.

- - -

"Hey Emma! I didn't see you at the stand."

Emma saw Sean at the movies leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek as they met in front of the ticket box. "A lot of things happened today I must say at work Alex and Amy got in a fight, Alex got suspended from her job and I had to run Amy to the doctors office so my first day of work would go down in history is the day that I didn't work at all and witnessed all kinds of havoc."

"You drove A- you don't even have a license!"

"I know I don't have a license not so loud!" She whispered low and laughed lightly, "I didn't get caught like seriously these two cops stopped next to us at a light and kept going really it was kind of cool I felt kind of rebellious and I liked it."

"Why did you have to drive?"

"Amy needed a ride because she couldn't drive Alex punched her in the stomach she needed to make sure her kid was alright."

Sean sighed distantly and looked at Emma, "Tonight is about you and me so no more Amy or Alex talk after this. Deal?"

Emma looked up at him, "I love you, deal. I just didn't know it bothered you."

"I love you too. Let's get our tickets," Sean told her shrugging it all off as he led her to the ticket booth. "For the record what did you want to see?"

Emma replied, "So I'm picking, I wanted to see _The Notebook_."

"What's that one about?," Sean asked.

"I don't know that's why I want to go see it."

"Alright let's get in line." Sean smirked as he still held Emma's hand guiding her to the line of maybe three others in front of them. "Two tickets for The Notebook."

The guy behind the desk took the money and tore off two tickets for Emma and Sean.

"Is this action, drama, romance do you know?" He asked as they walked into the dark theatre.

"I guess it's drama or romance."

"You're killing me." Sean flirtatiously whispered in her ear guiding her through the dark barely lit theatre they finally found a seat.

"So you know we're early," Emma looked at Sean before she kissed him passionately in the empty theatre as they waited for the movie to start.

_(Manny POV)_

As I'm ice-skating all I could think about was my encounter with Craig and that I completely blew it. I can't help but think that I may still have feelings for Craig despite the big ordeal that happened between us this year. I trusted him with my heart and he betrayed me and it's enough reason for us to not be on speaking terms and even worse when we tried to put the past behind us and be this "family" I saw a side to him that I both liked and didn't like but I needed to do what was best for me with or without his input. To put it bluntly I was infatuated with him for over two years I was captivated by him it was there when I met him that I started to believe that I could fall in love and yet he was the one to show me what it was to cry I mean really cry and introduced me to heartbreak. Who is to say I'll ever trust any other guy again? I still would rather be with Craig but I have to make sure he's telling the truth because as of right now I do not believe him. Truth be told he is one of the most inpatient guys I've ever met in my life.

As you could probably tell I've had a lot of time to myself dealing with this and thinking about this and in result I've spent a lot of me time tons which translates to alone time and in fact a lot of skating time. I think about this whole year that I decided to change my look in turn changing something and it got me nowhere, I'm ashamed of my self for what I did. I changed my whole outlook for the worst I downgraded myself because I figured if I changed me than I'd be reaching a goal that changing my look would somehow make me mature. I'd be more mature but really I find that it was showing me as someone very shallow and deluded. I honestly think that the only good that has come out of me changing my look was maybe the realizations that followed and when I truly felt the repercussions of my actions when I _really _lost my friends who had been with me since day one and made my mom cry I know that they were disappointed and me and didn't like who I became, my mom truly didn't know what I became. I hurt J.T. pretty bad as well because he was starting to fall for me but I know he was falling for my new look and that "new me" mentality. I realized now that I can still change what people see but I'll still be the same me inside.

I've been skating for years but just now is it honestly been something I wake up for. Skating has really made me happy it's a hidden pleasure and I escape when I skate I just close my eyes and not look down and I just glide on the ice and throw everything into it. Sometimes I run now that the weather is getting nice I will run long distances with my Ipod and blare loud music. It's sad to say I haven't time for friends because I've been spending possibly far too much "me" time. I miss Emma I mean I really owe it to talk to her after she defended me to Craig when I was going through the abortion situation and I know that must've been hard for her considering she herself was almost an abortion and she always told me that her mother told me that but I know that we should be friends deep down if she could cast that aside for a moment to be there for me. In actuality I didn't even talk to her much after that and I really should this whole year I really screwed up. I have skating practice on Monday's and Wednesdays but I'm spending a Friday night simply doing me here. I decide now that I'm going to take a break and get me some hot coffee and sit facing the other section of the rink for skaters who are either beginners or not members and they skate with a price and most people there are either couples or going on dates and they're very cutesy very romantic and very much what I lack. I like to watch them and try to make out their story of how they came to be and what I never truly had. I mean I had Craig and my story is as follows: I believed he had a thing for Emma and he surprised both of us when he asked _me _to dance at the '80's dance that she and I snuck into and I said yes and after that I realized that it was okay to like him but then we went on a date and his whole perception of me changed and I lost him as soon as I almost had him. I swore that wouldn't happen ever again because then I changed my look and I guess I thought that maybe he'd see what he was missing that possibly in some right he did.

I zoomed in on the auburn headed girl with Pippi Longstocking pigtails wearing a black coat right out of Hot Topic with torn fishnets. She was accompanied by a strikingly familiar male with dirty blonde curls and some scruff I observed they were laughing whispering and doing all of the things that cutesy dates do when it hit me just who the male was. Tracker Cameron, Sean's older brother and he was seen canoodling with none other than Ellie a girl I go to school with and Sean's ex. I wonder if Sean even knows that Tracker is speaking with Ellie but I've heard from quite a few people that he and Emma are back together and the reason why Sean broke up with Ellie is because he wanted to be with Emma which is no surprise to me we all know how Sean feels about Emma.

_(Ellie POV)_

I haven't had this much fun in a long while Tracker is a really great guy is what I know. Our date was really entertaining we went to this great Italian restaurant and got the best Chicken Parm in the world (so he says) but it was the best Chicken Parm _I_ have ever tasted. Here we are and he decided to surprise me by taking me ice-skating and fortunately I didn't fall on my butt which is a definite plus. I don't think I've ever had this much fun on a date before Marco and Sean only took me to the movies where there wasn't much interaction because there was a movie to watch where ice-skating it requires talking and stuff I guess.

At first I was really scared I held on tight to his hand and we went around once and all and I got confident that I won't fall and if I did that he would catch me. I'm not sure what kind of guy he is romantically and I'm backed up pretty far away in that sense I'm most definitely looking before I leap.

"Ellie how old are you anyway?" Tracker managed to glide on next to me at the same speed.

"I'm almost 16. Why? How old are you?"

"I knew this conversation would come out eventually . . ."

"It's not _that _bad is it?"

"I'm twenty-one."

"Oh . . ."

"You are seriously my brother's age so it's like dating my younger brother's girlfriends except not obviously but you are the age to be dating my brother."

"I assure you I probably have never met your brother because if he was anything like you he'd be a catch like yourself and you don't seem like the kind to let someone go so easily."

"I like you a lot Ellie you are _everything _that I'm looking for. I just wish that you weren't so young."

"So you're saying you don't wan--"

He shook his head wildly knowing that he had worded him self incorrectly. I just couldn't take my eyes off of him. "I do want to date you, I want to spend a lot of time with you I want to do this right and I wanted to know if you were okay with the age difference and since I know that you are I see that we can go somewhere."

"So we're going out, right?"

"_Yes_, we're going out." He told me stopping in front of me holding and pulling me closer to him.

I had a big light bulb moment here or one of those moments where you just thought and looked and everything else sort of went away I didn't think of the problems at home with mom or dad not being around and I didn't really worry about him because for a moment I felt like everything was alright. There we stood frozen in time looking into each other's eyes and not only did it feel right I really felt close to him like it felt like we were together and everyone else and time and everything simply stopped for that moment. He looked at me as if I was the only girl in the world his eyes didn't move to a passerby and his attention was on me. For that moment we weren't at a skating rink we could've been anywhere and it didn't matter it was just us. I never felt this way before, I never get mushy over someone I never felt that way with Sean or Marco it just felt right that we were here, and it felt okay to really fall for Tracker. I trust him and I may not even know him well enough I may not know things about him but I'm honestly to be able to really say something like this about this certain guy.

We sort of backed up into a corner simultaneously without realizing it so we really were out of reach and out of anybody's way. I smiled warmly leaning closer into him to where our foreheads touched I was nervous and my face was turning red it was that make or break moment before the kiss when you know it's coming but you just don't know when. "So we stopped skating huh?"

Tracker chuckled pulling his face back and looking down at me with his icy blue eyes his arms still hugged around my waist and somehow we both managed to keep our balance on the slippery ice. "I guess we did, Ellie." God his voice just drives me crazy I wish he would kiss me but I'm nervous to make that first move and it very well could have and would've happened but we just stood there staring at each other. I'm like a child on the inside with this guy and I've never thought this way about the other guys in the past I guess with our vast age difference I have such a juvenile mindset because everything is the first time or just everything has a new feel I know for a fact he's been around the block more than once.

Then we looked at each other for a moment once again, I debated with myself then I leaned closer as he did and then we kissed and that's the only way I could put it because I nearly lost my step and nearly pulled him down with me. His kiss was so experienced and it just was a bit of a thing a battled with because I hadn't too much experience with kissing and he was so passionate and I liked it a lot. When he pulled away he had already caught me and I regained my balance and I pray I wasn't blushing because he was looking at me the entire time. "Thanks I have the slight feeling I'm going to super sore tomorrow."

"Oh I can nearly guarantee you will be its always going to be for the first time skater. So what do you say we go around one more time and we get coffee or hot chocolate?"

"Sounds like a plan." I answered.

Tracker skated far off backwards so that he was still facing me. "How about we race?"

"That's no far you'd totally have the unfair advantage!"

"So what? You know what I'll give you the head start."

I started skating and I was doing fine and then he swooped by and once we were at the same speed and he staggered back a bit so I can win I liked that it shows that he just wants to have a good time and I like that about him it's what I need, I need to have fun with a guy while still being serious.


	17. Saturday, what a day

**Authors Note: **Thank you for your reviews. _WenWen _I'm actually thinking about writing another Emjay fanfiction because not only do I ship Eman I'm an avid fan of writing for that ship as well. I do have one season 4 fanfiction that I'm still writing called _Orange Car of Secrets_ it's a pretty lengthy lovefest and it's still being written. Most of my Emma/Jay fanfictions are prettyt fluffy. So you know, I've never tackled the ravine escapades I usually write Emjay with that detail of them omitted or it's an afterthought - like "after the ravine Jay decides to approach Emma" pretty much changing "Secret" as well as the aftermath and puitting my own spin on the entire relationship period which means they don't hook up which is the one reason some people do not ship the pairing or whatever. You gave me a good idea though so I'm highly going to put that one idea into overdrive. You may (you will) see a fanfiction in the future. (:

**Chapter Seventeen: Saturday, What a Day**

_(Sean POV)_

I want to do something nice for Emma and today is her day off so I'm letting her sleep in. Letting her sleep in is only half the surprise. I'm going to make her breakfast in bed I'm making chocolate chip waffles and chocolate milk. I hope she likes it I've been cooking for a few hours and fortunately Tracker didn't come home last night I'm guessing he found love in Degrassi. I'm happy for him it's truly unfortunate what happened with him and Wendy but he really needs to decide if he's staying for good so we can make accommodations and crap for him. He also needs to get his stuff back from the Alberta house.

I grabbed the folding table and set it up next to Emma's bed quietly and quickly so I can put the waffles and chocolate milk on the table. I knelt close to Emma and planted a kiss on her soft cheek. She stirred and before long her eyes opened and she was looking at me with her eyes of sunny amber from the flecks of light from the sun through the blinds. "Sean." she smiled and that just made it all worth it. She yawned before finally sitting up her back on the headboard.

"Good morning." I whispered softly, "I got a little surprise for you."

I got up and showed her the breakfast I had made her and she just smiled. "Oh Sean I love you. Thank you." I set it up on the bed on her lap I didn't want her to lift a single finger I wanted to spoil her.

"No need to thank me, I just wanted to make you smile."

I leaned in and was just about to kiss her again and all was going well Emma and I were spending some much needed time together and then I heard the door swing open and it was obviously Tracker. I then yelled into the next room, "Way to ruin a moment bro."

"And where were you last night?" Emma tantalized.

Tracker showed up in the bed room and answered, "I went stargazing after I went on a date, _mom_."

"All night long are you sure it was only stargazing?" I asked raising my eyebrow that my suspicion about my brother was true.

"Will we meet her?" Emma asked curiously.

Tracker nodded, "I'm sure she would like to but not yet, it's still new I'm still getting to know her myself and I don't want to scare her away."

"Good thinking, you're taking the slow approach."

"What's her name?"

"Ellie."

"She from around here?"

"I met her in a restaurant, I doubt you all know her she seems way out of you guys' social groups and I think she may be a bit older than you guys."

Just then the phone rang, I picked up the phone on the nightstand and it was a voice he knew all too well.

"Hey Tracker did you get home safe?"

"Hello?" I said in the phone he'd know that voice from anywhere.

"Sean? Is that you?" She sputtered into my ear as if she were shocked.

"Yeah it is . . ." I answered I could feel my self turn red with irritation.

"What are you doing here? Is this 555-8963 and does Tracker live here?"

"Yes he does . . ." I answered I was getting really aggravated.

"Can I talk with him?" She asked she was beginning to grate my nerves.

"Yeah." I passed the phone to Tracker trying hard to hold in what I was thinking. It's really a low blow for my brother to be dating my ex whether he knows her or not. It's much like girl code I'm sure Manny wouldn't go for me because she knows about the history between Emma and I. It's just not right that he's dating her. Tracker has no clue I'm mad, _again _way to ruin a moment Tracker.

Tracker gave me a look while he greeted Ellie and talked to her leaving the room. Emma knows me and she could see right through me when I'm upset and she knows there was something off. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing except my brother is dating my ex girlfriend is all." I said to her sarcastically downplaying the situation but in reality I probably just screwed things up big time.

Her face fell and all of a sudden I knew I just blew things. She told me as she stood up shaking her head after a long pause where she just stared at me. "I should've known."

"Should've known what?"

"You aren't over her and everything was a total li-"

"It's no- -"

"Save it, Sean. I need, I need to clear my head. God, I can't believe you."

Emma got up out of bed walked past me to grab her coat.

"Wait Emma." In her mad dash I noticed she didn't even touch her breakfast that I cooked for her.

She whipped around quickly and looked at me; I saw the remaining eyeliner that lingered on her eyes on her cheeks from crying. "So you can tell me about how you are sorry and you didn't want to hurt me and that you want me out? Sean where am I going to go?"

"I don't love Ellie. I love you and I'm over Ellie, way over her. The truth is I broke up with her for you!"

"I need to take a walk. Let me okay? I'll talk to you I promise I'm just. . " She turned around and started out of the house.

I snapped back to my senses and followed her out of the house but she kept walking. "Emma wait don't go yet!"

She was already out of my reach by the time I said wait. I blew it; I'm once again and as always a screw up.

I heard Tracker hang up the phone with Ellie and advance towards me I was so tempted to punch a wall but I managed to hold off just yet. I was just pissed and I didn't know what to do I mean Emma wasn't really listening I was getting mad and Tracker is with Ellie because she's an ex and brothers don't do that, friends don't do that.

"So Emma left what was that all about?"

I shrugged I really didn't even know where to begin. When I get mad I get quiet I don't talk I just get pissy and throw fits without actually thinking. I didn't want Emma to go I didn't even mean it like that and now she's got the wrong impression. I'm probably overreacting. "Ellie is my ex girlfriend, I know her voice."

Tracker was speechless he managed to utter, "Wow . . ."

"Yeah."

"What's it matter? You have Emma and things look really solid with you two."

"You're not supposed to be dating my ex's or it's just not right," I spat out to Tracker.

"I didn't think you'd think it was a big deal whether she's an ex or not. Since when did you care? I never once heard you mention an Ellie ever in your life."

"You were out all night."

"What does that have to do with anything? At least do something about my comebacks or get better at yours."

"Tracker I may not have mentioned an Ellie but it doesn't mean it didn't happen!"

"What I do with Ellie is none of your business; we didn't sleep together if that's what you think. Give me a break it was our first date. It's not like I bring up the fact that you sleep with Emma in _my _bed and I don't say shit about it"

"Emma's my girl and you said it was okay for us to use that bed because there's two of us and one of you I thought we agreed on this."

"Yet you are getting all heated over the fact I'm with your ex but you can't see you just pissed off your girl. You just showed Emma you don't care about her."

"You know exactly how I feel about Emma. You of all people know."

"Yet you really showed that back there right?"

"Shut up Tracker."

"You just can't stand the fact that I'm right."

"Or maybe the fact that I think you might just have feelings for Emma as well."

"What? Sean, you're crazy."

"Oh no? Look at you praising Emma, when you're just tap dancing away from the point. What am I supposed to think?"

"Yeah okay I admit had I of known El was your ex I'd probably of let you know and I would've asked her if it was cool but you were not mentioned and you did not mention her. Dream on if you really think I like Emma. I wouldn't dare step into what you two have; it's truly something I wouldn't dare try to mess with. I always told you how good she is for you. I think you'd be in jail right now had Emma not come in your life at the time that she did, you were still a delinquent. Even now, even after that shit hole of a break up you guys had she still would've given anything to get it back together. You think I don't know? Do you _see _the way she looks at you? I mean really see, she has it so bad for you and you are acting like a spoiled child. I wonder what the hell she sees in you when you act like this, when you overreact like this. Grow up, Sean."

"I just don't know why you gotta pick _my _ex."

"Pick your ex? I met her by chance, I think she's a nice girl I think got a few problems but other than that great girl and I hope for something special and I really honestly didn't have a clue you guys went out. You are so blowing this out of proportion."

"Just a lot of things happened since you left town and came back is all."

"Let me in on them because I can't take this shit with you getting mad at me over stupid things you seriously need to grow up."

"God Trac I don't need to hear I'm a fucking screw up over and over I always do this with things that are good. I just need you to see, you don't know what kind of pressure I'm under, you don't have a fucking clue."

"Why you going to throw a pitty party instead of actually telling me what the problem is?"

"You just don't know."

"Pressure? Sean you have the girl you always loved, you have your own house, and you're on the right track and . . ."

"I got a girl pregnant. What's worse is the girl is best friends with Emma."

"Manny?"

I shook my head, "Amy."

"What are you going to do about this? Does Emma even know about this or is this another secret you got?"

"It's not like that! I didn't even plan to be with her forever you know? We were just having fun but then I realized how I truly feel about Emma, I broke up with Ellie and I was just starting to get somewhere again with Emma. I love Emma I really do and Amy dropped the bomb on me. I feel like Amy is in the way of me and Emma ever having a chance."

"What you mean? Do you think Amy is going to badger you for money and stuff?"

"It's not even about that sometimes it's like I feel like that thing with Amy will eventually pick apart at me and Emma. At first I thought Amy was only friends with Em to piss me off but they're truly friends. I treat Emma like something special because she is, she really is but Amy I just wish that part of my past could go away but it can't. I feel like a total screw up because the truth is I don't know what I'm doing. I love Emma, I'm _in _love with Emma if I could right now being the fifteen year old guy I'am would marry her if I could in a heartbeat but all this shit in happening and I feel like it's way out of control. What if Emma sees the kid and can't deal with the fact it's half mine or whatever? Then what? What if she leaves me? Amy doesn't want me to be a part of this because I said some stupid things before when I first found out I reacted bad."

"Sean you left me at a loss for words. Who is this Amy girl, when did you guys date and why should this matter? Worry about it when it actually happens or when it's happening. Right now you don't have shit to worry about. If it aint broken don't try to fix it, you and Emma are happy now so revel in that stuff while you still can because you don't know what bumps will lie ahead. It's not always rainbows and butterflies. I know you guys are strong enough but if you just let her walk away you'll never get to see that. "

"What are you saying, bro?"

"Go find her."

"She's probably going to tell Amy what a jackass I was earlier." I rolled my eyes, "and then Emma will agree with Amy of whatever her opinion is of me. I just feel like Amy is in the way of me and Emma's big chance."

"But what I'm trying to say is you don't know that but the only person standing in the way of you two getting back together is yourself. Stop acting like a child Sean and _man up_."

- - -

Emma was sitting on a park bench she was just observing her surroundings. She saw the birds flying and heard them chip and just silently thought about everything. She regretting blowing up on Sean but she wanted to wait to cool off before she said anything to him. She half expected to see him later and talk to him later but she just wants to make sure she says and does the right thing. She did worry that Sean isn't over his ex but at the same time he silently wonders what she saw in her.

It was then Brian happened to walk by and stand close to Emma. "Emma uh hey how are you. Is something wrong?"

Emma questioned looking up at him the boy she dated one night before she truly realized just how strong her feelings for Sean were, "Brian? Hi, ye- - yeah a lot of things."

"Can I say something?"

Emma nodded. "As long as it's not about how much you can't stand - -"

"I'm sorry, if it's worth anything when I blew up in the hall last week. It's just I thought I felt something and that we were on the same page but I don't know I guess we weren't and that's okay I'm just hoping that you don't totally hate me."

"I was hoping you would apologize. No I don't hate you because you had every right to be mad and I accept your apology."

"So now that we have that squared away what's wrong?"

"Just stuff I don't think Sean is over his ex and I'm miserable there has been too much drama lately I think it's more than I could handle."

"Maybe I can cheer you up." Brian said with a voice most charming to any girl, his crystal eyes appeared calming, reassuring, and innocent.

"How?" Emma asked looking into his eyes with sincerity.

"You know the band Downtown Sasquatch?"

Emma nodded, "Yeah I know a lot of the members a close family friend fronts it."

"They're having a show tonight if you want to go with me and maybe it'll take your mind off of that Shane guy or whatever."

Emma didn't know what she should do if she should she go out and have fun with a guy she dated once and it didn't exactly work out or should she try to work it out with Sean. Sure, she loved Sean but maybe they just need a night apart to think. She was still mad and not ready to talk about it. "I - I don't know."

He plead with a friendly smile, "Say yes."

She knew right off the bat Brian was easy to loose his cool like last time so she had some things to clear up if they were now "friends", "_Yes_, but with a but."

"I'm listening."

"I'm not your girl, we're friends alright? Sean is still technically my boyfriend I'm only just mad at him."

Brian became a little smug but reassured that he was alright with the arrangement for he was hoping for another chance. "Sure not a big deal I hear you."

"Good so I will meet you here at what time does the show start?"

"The show starts at 7 so meet me around 6:30 we'll walk together alright?"

- - -

Amy contemplated dialing the number of the guy she met in the Emergency room. Fortunately since the fight she checked out just fine and nothing was wrong with the baby which was a worry of hers. The slip of paper where the number was written on her lap she the phones dial tone hum droan as it sat on the bed as she thought hard about calling. She hung up the lost call and finally dialed for real. Amy found out about the Downtown Sasquatch show, she hasn't really been able to really do anything lately from baby stress but this is the first time she'll be going out and doing something and not allowed to be drinking. She knows she was an alcoholic but after almost dying she decided to stop but this would be the first time since then and she really hasn't had any temptation.

"Uh hey." Trent's raspy voice called into the phone.

"Hi it's me Amy from the Emergency room."

"Amy right how are you? Did you find out what's wrong or whatever? Wait, you didn't tell me you said something but then I got called."

"Uh I got in a fight and I didn't feel right so I wanted to get checked out."

"Not a bad thing. I can say it's a good thing you're alright and you called me up."

"Yeah it's good that I' am alright. So what are you doing tonight?"

"I don't know much about anything around here, most likely sitting here bored."

"There's a show tonight a local band with some kids from my high school would you wanna come?"

"I love seeing bands I used to be in one but we broke up. I'd like that. Where can I meet you?"

"Do you know where The Dot Grille is?"

"I just happened to put an application in for that place."

"Oh well meet me there at say, 6:30?"

"Perfect, you're saving my life Amy I've been so bored all day."

"So have I, I'll see you at The Dot! I gotta get ready."

"Me too I've been such a bum. See you soon, bye." Click. Amy smiled happily as she started getting ready to go hang out with Trent.


	18. Saturday Night Showtime

**AN**: It has been such a long time since I've written this fan fiction. I had a major case of writers block I'm so thrilled to be back! I've missed this story like you'd never know. It wasn't that I was writing this all by ear and all, it was that I kinda was in debates with myself. As you know, or may not know I wrote this fan fiction a little over 4 years ago and I was playing with ideas from what I wrote for years ago and what I feel now, especially given new characters and the current circumstances. So belated here is (finally!) I Have Nothing's Saturday Night Showtime.

**Chapter 18: Saturday Night Showtime **

Emma managed to have remembered she had her paycheck in her pocket all she had to do was finally cash it. She cashed it at the bank quickly and had enough cash to get something to wear for the show. Since she only worked a day she got some stuff to spend which is good enough for at least a cute top in the clearance bin. The last thing she wanted to do was to go to Sean's rummage for something to wear and have another scene like this morning. Either has to hear something from Tracker vouching or defending Sean or Sean's apologetic stuff like this morning and she wasn't ready for it.

She just wanted space and she was all delusional or she wasn't. It was all coming back to her that he made her breakfast so she thought. Of course Emma overanalyzed it in a delusional way and her present thought is as she took it as a device to make Emma not think his feelings for Ellie were something that he wanted to cover his tracks on Emma was wearing a pink midriff and cleavage bearing corset she wanted to look wild that night and the hot pink top fit the bill perfectly. An annoying vendor for hair curling approached Emma with their usual tagline by calling her the most beautiful girl in the entire mall and begged to to her hair she told him of the event and the trouble with Sean and he curled her hair while telling her about the product. She knew she wasn't going to buy it.

Before she knew it, it was 7:30 and she met Brian at the bench of The Dot in her little pink get up. He almost nearly took a double take. Emma looked up at him before standing up, "I'm ready for some fun."

"Well so am I and you came to the right place looking oh so great."

She looked down at her attire and then back up at him with a smile, "Why thank you."

"Hate to rush you but come on we need to get there so we get a good seat. For the record do you drink?"

"Of course I do. What's your weapon of choice?"

"I like good ol' Jack." A grin played on Brian's lips looking in to Emma's golden eyes wide with flirtation.

She nodded, "I like the way you speak, Brian."

"Oh you too? Please don't tell me you just put it in a mix and go with it, or do you drink it like men."

"If straight from the bottle is like a man, then that's what I do."

"Well then you're in luck." Brian said as he removed a flask from his pocket and handed it to Emma, "it's all yours."

"Catch?"

"No catch. You just told me you like Jack so much and I want to give you something you like. I want to please you."

"Please me?"

"When I acted like a jerk in the hallway, I-it the least I could do. I just felt so . . . "

"Rejected, I know and I-I'm sorry."

"No the only person who needs to be sorry is that low-life ex of yours who got your friend pregnant . . ."

"I thought I told you to cut the Sean talk I don't want to hear about it tonight. I just want to let loose and have some fun and think about it tomorrow."

"Anything going on, any thoughts in it tonight?"

"I don't know, I want to talk to him tomorrow, just not tonight. I don't want to say anything I'll regret because never mind forget it. Let's just go to the show listen to the 'squatch and have a good time with the help of Jack. What do you say to that?"

"If I had a drink I'd drink to that!"

"When we get there." She told him "So it'll be belated."

_(Manny POV)_

I don't know what possessed me to come here I guess wishful thinking that there'd be a chance that I'd catch a glimpse of Craig sans Ashley so I can apologize for the mondo bitch I was in the hallway on Friday. The truth is he's been on my mind since the very incident and I can't seem to focus until I say something in regards to it and tonight seems like a good time to spill out. I just hope that I'm not too late. I put on that kimono looking tee that had the little oval slit in the top that was mostly green and put on some light green eye shadow and a nice pair of jeans. It would honestly be the first time I went out, I mean out out since I had the abortion aside from ice-skating. That's my own true pleasure and happiness, ice-skating that's so much of a treat. I guess you can say I was kind of sort of punishing myself because I know nobody else was going to and the only thing to blame was myself for how I got in the predicament in the first place.

As I waltzed in paid the two dollar cover fee it dawned on me that I was truly alone. I had nobody escorting me; I hadn't a single friend in the room. Emma and I had a fall out and it's been hard to approach her even after she was a big help and she told she'd be there for me but it looks like I have to further approach her and even so I already feel replaced. It is clear that Amy has totally replaced me in the best friend category. There was a band playing that wasn't Craig's band when I felt someone behind me. "Uh . . . Excuse me . . ."

I whipped my head around and there was a hooded figure gazing directly at me which made me suddenly uncomfortable being alone in a crowd. "Sorry your hair smells pretty. You're really pretty."

He was obviously on something or had been drinking at least a little something before approaching me. He smelled awful and his red hair was matted to his forehead showing he probably hadn't showered in a few days and his face was covered in blemishes. He wasn't an ugly guy and his brown eyes looked almost black but he seemed very shady. He was holding my hair and continuing to smell it. He looked like a totally lost person I tried to shake him off but he wouldn't leave.

"Uh uh thank-you?" I then decided to use words while wriggling away, "Can you please let go . . ."

He finally let go, "I-I'm Randy hey by any chance do you know where I can score some weed I'm sorta coming down from my high . . ."

"Manny, I'm Manny." I nervously tried backing away but he kept following me around. I was kinda sidetracked trying to find Craig.

"Do you know?"

I shook my head wildly with a shrug thinking that maybe coming here was a mistake. I began to fear that maybe Craig does drugs even though he doesn't seem like the kind. "N-No I'm sorry I don't smoke."

"Don't be nervous, are you like a narc?

"God no, I'm in high school. I just don't smoke. . I'm kind of looking for someone though if you'll excuse me. . "

"Alright I'll let you go but if you meet someone who does let me know."

"Sure." I started walking backward still facing him.

"See you around Mandy."

"It's Manny."

"Like Emanuel? Cool! Cya." I then saw him turn around and talk to his buddy and say, "I just met a female named Emanuel!" I shook my head laughing before running into someone who happened to walk into me.

I didn't face them I just said out loud spontaneously, "No I don't have drugs . . ."

Then I heard his voice. "Manny, you're here. What is this I hear - drugs?"

I turned around and smiled up at exactly who I was here to see. "Never mind that it's a long story."

He chuckled, "I have time to hear a long story, and we don't go on for awhile. We'll find somewhere to sit maybe?"

_(end of Manny POV)_

Manny followed Craig to an empty table with a stool. There was a lone coke nearly empty the ice was rapidly melting as the people who had been sitting there had disappeared. "I just want to apologize about yesterday in the hallway, I was wrong okay?"

Craig sat down and shrugged "You had every right to be resistant maybe I approached too soon. If you want me to back off just say."

"I don't and that's sorta why I'm here."

"I'm glad you are here."

"Yeah me too . . . I want to spend more time with you because I feel like I don't know . . ."

"I'd like that too . . ." Craig's green eyes met Manny's and softened for her, he began to smile but their moment was suddenly interrupted by Spinner and Marco running full force toward him. "We have a little bit of an emergency, Craig."

Manny started to frown and shift uncomfortably in her seat.

"What now? Is the accordion out of tune again?" Craig got up from the stool and asked Marco sighing out loud in a whisper. "Why tonight?"

"Marco are you gonna fess up or am I gonna have to before Craig has a heart attack!? No just the fact that Jimmy barfed all over the dressing room. Someone gave him spiked coke with like rum and I guess Jimbo couldn't handle it because he went splat!"

"Well what are we gonna do guys? Jimmy is our bassist we can't go on without him!"

"That's why we asked our . . . Fearless leader to somehow help!" Marco nudged Craig with a halfhearted smile.

"Right now guys I'm far from fearless." Craig said pacing about before looking at a crestfallen Manny. He looked at her and walked closer he didn't want to just leave her after they had the start of their first positive conversation and she went out of her way to see him.

"Come on Craig we gotta do something or at least change the arrangements and practice!" Spinner told Craig kinda aggravated that he was talking to a girl instead of focusing on the problem with Jimmy.

"Manny . . . I'll talk to you at school okay?" Spinner started dragging Craig by the shirt not even realizing or trying to realize that Manny was there and obviously upset.

Although it wasn't how she was feeling she told him, "Don't worry about it, do whatever you have to do."

Manny wasn't convinced she was hurt. She went out of her way had an uncomfortable encounter with a stranger named Randy who thought her name was Emanuel and thought that she could score him drugs. Tonight was a bad night to even try to talk to him but she felt like biggest idiot in the world.

Amy and Trent detoured and walked around the dimly lit trails at Bennett Park getting to know each other and thankfully for Amy her secret was still safe. The thing was she didn't want Trent to know and she was afraid once he found out he wasn't going to want her anymore but she didn't want to lie so if it comes up, it comes up. So far she had honestly met the most heartfelt person he told her a lot of things in the few hours they met.

"Again I want to thank you for inviting me out, Amy. I mean I'm always the new guy in town and it's nice that I felt included into the town's scene."

"It's not a problem. Glad I could be of help." Amy told him as they entered the large garage warehouse area where the show was taking place. Music from the other bands can be heard from outside.

"You never told me what you were doing in the hospital that day. . . I mean I told you what happened to me now you spill."

"My friend and I had a fight, well she and I aren't friends anymore and it's really really complicated."

"Well we have all night to talk about it and for the record I'm pretty interested."

"Okay." She told him as they got their hands stamped. She closed her eyes nervously before reopening them finding a small circular two seated bar table.

He imitated her folding his hands while sitting at the stool and breathed out and said, "Okay, go I'm all ears."

"So I knew my ex friend Alex for about as far back as I could remember. We went to grade school together and we were always very close we did everything together. I got to admit we were bad, really bad but we always had each others backs we were willing to take bullets for each other and things were good. We used to shoplift, skip school, vandalize, and do really stupid things and back then to us it was all fun and we didn't care if we got busted we were like sisters. She moved near my place in grade two with her mom after her dad died in downtown Toronto. She moved near the middle of the year and the teacher sat us next to each other needless to say we were friends ever since. Well for awhile it was Alex and Amy best friends forever until in the middle of grade seven her best guy friend from her old neighborhood moved near us and I mean we became this trio and things were good for awhile until they started dating. Then this quiet guy we always went to school with nicknamed Towerz because he was so tall joined our little group and all of us together. In the beginning all of us were unstoppable and for awhile the fun never stopped. So like I was the only one who was never in a relationship before I mean we'd have guys come around who were friends with Jay but they were mostly flings but this past year they set me up with a new guy that they were putting into our group his name was Sean and I don't know just things happened. What ultimately drew me to him was the fact that he wasn't like most of us or who I thought I was."

"What was he like?" Trent asked.

"I don't know, I know what he thought he was doing in our group. The truth? Naturally he was a good guy tryna play a badass. He's got all the uh components that make up it but it's still incomplete - he's rough around the edges, and he's got a family history of alcoholism but other than that he's good and just bad things have happened to him and he really doesn't belong in a group like that. We influenced him for the negative. When you looked at us as a group, I mean we're just a group of bad seeds. . But him? He tried and still tries to fit in with it and he's not really like that. He did a lot of things to prove he was in with us like stealing from our sick computer teacher and the school and like things we do all the time like no biggie but he found joy in it. But I know he's not meant to be in our group because he mostly feels remorse and we never do."

"Seems like you were pretty acquainted with that guy . . . "

"Yeah at one time, I wish I wasn't."

"Everyone says that but you wouldn't be who you are today if you took away one thing. It's a bad habit to remove occurrences and things in your past. . It's good to have no regrets and live for the day because tomorrow is never guaranteed and it's apart of you it's a good way a positive way to live. I do it that way and I'm good. I feel good."

"I guess I can agree. . . " She sighed before speaking again, "It's just aggravating and irritating because I found out a lot of things that I was all wrong on. I feel like kicking myself. I should have stood up for myself more or maybe just maybe he's that cruel and we really did rub off on him in a bad way. Maybe the way I chose to live my life by a group and not by my own wishes was stupid. I just wish I've done things differently. But more about how I thought I had he all figured out. . "

"Why do you say that?"

"Have you ever heard the phrase when the going get tough, the tough get going?"

He nodded ", Yeah my mom used to say that about my dad."

All of a sudden things started hitting close to home. "Same with mine but that's exactly what I mean. He has indeed turned into them and it became this reverse process where I became more like an outsider looking in and finding I don't want to be apart of them anymore. For awhile I was an alcoholic and if I were sad I'd drink myself to sleep and once I almost died of alcohol poisoning and my wake up call was - - not one of my friends not one. Not even Alex, none of these friends of mine ever once stopped at the hospital to say anything. They never visited. What's even worse was I didn't know that I could mess someone else's life up too by doing that and that's when I found out that I was going to have a baby. I met my true best friend in the wake of that realization over writing a paper on poetry in an English class she's been the most supportive of friends in awhile."

"Wait a second . . . You are having a baby? That Sean guy is the dad? That girl in the hospital is your new best friend?"

"Yeah really I told you this story is long weird and a lot to process."

"You can say that again but . . . I'm glad you're telling me. So tell me more stuff about this . . Don't mind me interrupting." He laughed lightly leaning his elbow on the table leaning his head on his hand.

"Yeah she is my best friend. She's been helping me out, helping me straighten myself out. That group always said such mean things about this girl but they're so wrong about her. She's a great friend. She's far from perfect which is a relief and they always said she was so perfect."

"As for the fight . . . And how I wound up meeting you in the emergency room." She continued, "I didn't know how to protect myself as uneducated as I sound . . . I wasn't taught things like prevention and such I just made a lot of mistakes with a lot of things. I didn't have a guard and I never had any guard to put down. I mean my mom worked three jobs and so did Alex's and her environment wasn't too great with musical chair boyfriends like mine and Jay was better off but he chose not to be and Sean was living with his brother I mean we weren't supervised we weren't taught things like everyone else and we just did for us and answered to nobody and I wish that I learned to break myself away from that group of people because maybe I would have a chance at a normal life. I was sort of the more silent one in our group especially in the time where I wasn't spending time with them and Emma had gotten this job and Alex worked there too and they promised they'd take her to work and I was aggravated because I know Em needed this job bad. So I took her to work and I told her to talk to the boss and I set the record straight with Alex. We had a fight and when I was down she punched me square in the stomach and all I could think about was if the baby was alright. Emma saw the whole thing because her and her boss had just left the office. . And here next thing I know she's driving me without a license to the emergency room and there you were."

"What I do know is if it wasn't for all of that we would've never met. You know what they call that when two people meet and it was sort of unfortunate in circumstances but it was such a good thing it was fortunate that they did meet?"

Amy shook her head, "No, what?"

"Serendipity, it means a fortunate accident.

"I guess you can say that. If you put it that way. . I get it."

"I want you to know this for real, for the record Amy I don't care about your past but I want to be in your present if you let me and maybe even your future. I'm serious I'm not into lying and I'm sick of moving around I want to stay in a place and this town seems like a good start."

Amy smiled lightly. "Really? You're okay with the fact that . . . I've laid everything out on the table?"

He nodded, "I like that you're honest when I asked you about it you didn't lie or brush it off or act like I never asked. I like that you're honest."

Elsewhere, there were some issues with the very group Amy had less than fond memories being a part of. Alex felt guilty about a few occurrences in the past week.

Alex and Jay were in Alex's bedroom while her mom and Chad were at the bar. It was great to have a silent house but there were obvious issues with Alex that were bubbling over. Jay was over Alex fooling around on her bed in the dark her raven colored hair laid disheveled against the white sheet as she pushed him away in time to be sitting up crossing her arms against herself on the headboard. Jay flicked on the light switch by the bed looking at her with questioning eyes she exclaimed in response, "I'm not in the mood for this!"

"You never are." Jay muttered.

She narrowed her eye" Excuse me?"

Jay spat back in reply, "You never are! What the hell? You've been acting so weird lately. Why can't you be all fun anymore Lex? So what you got laid off it's not forever Meryl didn't completely fire you so what if you're suspended big woop. I pay for things when we go out let me handle money."

"You don't get it I don't even want to face her. If it wasn't for her Amy wouldn't have turned her back on us."

"That's what this is about? Nelson? Newsflash how long has she and Nelson been all best friends suddenly it's ridic. What I don't get is why she ditches us after she went in the hospital it was only alcohol poising! She survived."

"Shut up Jay, Amy could've died and you know it. You are so insensitive."

"Just because we did away with her house doesn't mean she's going to skip town she wound up living at Cameron's. I don't get why you care so much about Greenpeace's life."

"We burnt down her house, Jay it's not that simple! Someone could've died. Eventually the lab is gonna see our prints all over the scene. There were no hazards in their house and we hit it from the side of the house it wasn't an indoor blaze - - why did I even listen to you?"

"It was fun we were all drinking. And besides we all know you wished you could've lived like her in a nice house with a perfect family with a little brother I know you always wanted a little brother after your mom . . ."

"Drop dead!" She retorted. "That isn't true! I was drunk too but God what were we thinking?! Jay sometimes I don't get how you could be so cruel you think of some of the most boneheaded ideas ever."

"Alex don't talk so loud! Do you want to rat us out?"

"You started it - - shut the fuck up I was never jealous of that girl! For the record: I can say whatever I want!"

"As for my ideas you like them and you know it, Lex. We've always been this way." Jay bellowed in a sultry voice before leaning in to kiss Alex she moved her head as his lips brushed hers.

She shook her head pushing him upward, "Jay I don't want to go to jail."

"You won't as long as we stick to our story, our little alibi, you were at your moms and I was at my dads or we were at your mom and dads - they'll never suspect a thing."

"Jay you don't understand I can't unsee what I saw. She's got a baby brother and he . . He could've been in the blaze. How come we haven't seen them?"

"We didn't but he's with the parents and the parents weren't home. Alex can we just leave it alone."

"I hit Amy. It's why I got suspended."

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"I do really bad things when I feel guilty and Jay, I feel guilty . . . Really really really guilty. I mean I've never hit Amy before. We never do bad things like this I mean we steal and stuff but this is serious this is criminal we can do hard time for this if we get caught."

"Like I said she turned her back on us. Just know I will too if you decide to snitch. I won't have your back if you turn yourself in and shoot your mouth off to the cops mark my words."

"Anything so I don't feel guilty I'll do."

"Don't do anything stupid."

"Look Jay, I don't want to deal with this."

"So your lips zipped on the business of the fire?" She nodded, "Now that you just killed the moment can we get back to what we were doing?"

Alex sighed rolling her eyes alluding pressure nodding before turning off the bedroom light.

Tracker and Sean were sitting in the kitchen table in silence. Sean didn't say anything when eating his dinner as did Tracker until one decided to break the silence.

"Where do you think she went Sean? It's getting kind of late."

"I've been looking for her all day. I have no clue."

Tracker thought of an idea, "Have you called her friend Amy?"

Sean spat back, "Like I'd call her. Like she'd wanna hear from me. Can you imagine that? You know where Emma is? And then that'll make me look like a bad boyfriend and give her another excuse why she shouldn't date me."

"I was just trying to help, and well naturally she'd probably know. Aren't they friends?"

Sean mumbled, "Yeah sort of."

"Yeah or no?"

"Yeah." Sean just then perked up when he thought about something he had heard in the hallway on Friday afternoon, "Wait Craig's band is having a show at The Garage."

Tracker is still unacquainted with the town, "What's that?"

"It's where bands play a friend of mine plays there."

"Do you think she'd go?"

"To get away? She just might." Sean stood up from the dinner table, "Uh call my cell if she shows up here I'll be out late probably."

"Good luck." Tracker told Sean as Sean got on his lucky denim jacket and walked out the door.

Emma was still at the show but she wasn't really paying attention to the show. She was too wasted to even think about much of anything but she knew she wanted to stop drinking and go back to Sean's house soon and sleep. The room was sort of spinning and she couldn't really stand up straight. All she really wanted to do was sleep and talk in the morning to Sean. She didn't want to be mad anymore, she had her fun and now she wants to go.

She met a whole cast of characters in Brian's group of friends a girl named Marnie who she made friends with earlier into the night and Wade and Wayne who are twins who brought coke along with a few other things like shots and pills. She felt really tired and set on passing out. It was almost 12 by now and Downtown Sasquatch was finally fixing their sets to start their part of the show.

"I'm really tired Brian I want to go home."

"You're gonna miss them, besides I'm going take you home - you'll stay at my place."

"I don't care I want to go home." She shook her head, "I want to go to Sean's house."

"I thought you were mad at him."

"I'm not anymore." She slurred.

He shook his head, "Look at you - you can barely stand I'll help you."

Marnie took a puff from her cigarette suddenly finding that tonight wasn't going to be fun anymore. Her buzz has been killed, she snapped back over hearing the struggle between Brian and Emma, "Just let her do what she wants we'll take her to this guy's house. While we're at it get her some water."

"She's fucked up." Wayne said, "She doesn't know what she's talking about, let's go before she makes an ass out of herself."

"You guys are idiots." Marnie sighed getting up from her chair whispering in Brian's ear, "I told you Bry this is a stupid idea. You know she'll come out of this and wake up and be all pointing fingers at you."

"Hey shut up Marnie nobody asked your opinion. Are you staying or are you going to leave with us?"

"Screw you guys I'm staying here and out of trouble. Whatever you do take care of her make sure she gets home safe."

Wade winked back at Marnie. "Don't you worry."

"Suit yourself, Marnie." Brian said back picking up Emma.

"Bye bye Marnie!" Emma giggled while waving still holding the empty flask in her hand.

"I mean it guys, I'm serious." Marnie argued.

"We will Jesus Christ." Wayne was the last to go he waved to her, "See you Monday."

"So do we even know where this guy lives?" Wayne asked Brian in a low whisper.

"Fuck no; we're not even going there."

"She probably knows though."

"Guys we're not going there."

"Then what we doing?""We're sticking with the plan, what are you on?"

Wayne and Wade looked at each other and laughed. "We don't even know."

"Exactly! Let me handle this you two just shut up." Brian snapped back and looked calmly at Emma, "You alright, because you're in good hands."

"I just wanna go to Sean's." She whined. "I really messed up."

"No, he messed up alright?"

Suddenly Sean saw them on their way out and he called out "Emma."


End file.
